I talked to a friend who had twins recently and asked her what surprised her the most about having twins.
She told me that she didn’t expect to be so anchored to the house.
You’ll likely feel the same way with newborn twins: stuck at home.
Why do twins create this tether to your home?
Each baby has significant needs. With twins, you must take care of twice those needs plus the overhead of having two babies.
Loading up your newborn twins in the car will always take longer than you think. You’ll:
- Dress each twin in weather appropriate clothing (jackets, coats, etc.)
- Pack the diaper bag for all possibilities
- Load each baby in his or her car seat
- Adjust the car seat straps to account for baby’s current outerwear
- Run back into the house to grab your shopping list, bag, keys, or whatever you forgot
- Stop before you’ve backed out of the driveway since one of your twins just had a blow out
- Reverse the process to clean up the blow out mess
- Take baby back inside and clean her up
- Change her clothes (maybe yours, too) and ready her for her car seat
- Realize you need to clean the car seat, too
- Abort mission since it will take time to clean the seat and you can’t travel without it
When you have a few trips like this, you’ll start to opt for not even trying to leave the house.
Newborn twins need to eat every couple of hours. While feedings start to spread out over time, initially, you will feel like you are constantly feeding your babies.
Constant feeding doesn’t offer time to leave the house.
Even after your twins leave the newborn stage and start taking naps a couple of times a day, you’ll feel like you have limited windows of opportunity to do anything.
(NOTE: Still expecting? Get weekly updates on your twin pregnancy here.)
When the twins wake up, you’ll have to rush to load them up in the car and run your errands before they get hungry and cranky and need to be fed before their next nap.
Due to the demands of your daily life with infant twins, you’ll be exhausted and sleep deprived.
When you’re tired and finally get a break, the last thing you’ll want to do is leave the house because it will seem like too much work.
So why do infant twins anchor you to the house? It is the path of least resistance.
Don’t worry, as your twins get older, you’ll have more freedom. You just have to endure the foggy first year.
Already have twins? What always seemed to keep you stuck at home?
Picture by Nate Davis
20 thoughts on “4 Reasons Infant Twins Keep You Stuck at Home”
Hi there Joe,
I understand fully why it is so much easier to stay at home and not have to go through the lengthy process of preparing twins for travel, but honestly, at day 5, when it was warm enough to get them out for a walk…we were out!
The only reason they haven’t been out in a week, is because they’ve been sick and it’s killing me, cause Lord help me…I must enjoy chaos, but I like taking my baby twins out. Though oddly for me the first 5 months or so were the easiest, and now the sleepless nights from teething, are WORSE. (Please dear God let it only be teething.) 🙂
My husband said, don’t buy all the cutsey 3 piece outfits, you’ll never put them both in them. You will live off onsies and sleepers, but I bought ’em anyway, and low and behold for most things he may have been right, but for this he was..WRONG! I had them dressed up and out as often as possible since they have been born.
He works nights, so granted I have the option at times to take only one out in the day, because he’s home, but even all on my own I just enjoy taking them out, and only having one, YES, is far easier, no denying that, it feels like something, or someone, is missing. I sometimes would feel guilty like I was in some sort of odd way betraying the other twin who was stuck at home, getting the short end of the stick Almost in a way like you are cheating on one by giving the ‘prize’ of say being at a party or what not, to the other twin. I can’t really explain it. Does that sound bizarre? Even at just a few months old.
Now that they just turned 1…HOLY SMOKES, fastest year of my life, I find it more challenging then ever, and harder to spread myself around between 4 children, especially 3 out of 4 very needy ones, but I find them much more fun to. I am a sucker for the newborn stage, I won’t lie, but my husband, he just craves the ‘let’s get to 4 or 5 stage’, which I don’t get…is that just a guy thing? Is it us girls that truly just adore the sweet new baby smell, and those early days and months with a newborn, and sometimes x’s two? To be needed for everything, and to nurture, or is he just terrible? lol.
I have a teenager, I know what they become, so I want to have them loving me up and publiclly, for as long as possible. Mommy won’t be ‘cool’ forever. BUT to get back to the subject at hand…I was very surprised that as much time as it takes to dress two babies, and not just that, but to remember to pack everything for them, and not have to return to the house for something…I must love a challenge, because I do it as often as possible, and plan to be out every day once the weather is nice, and flu season is no more, though I’m scared of the walking around now thing. I like them immobile, lol. SO scared of being alone and somebody getting hurt because how many eyes and arms do I have, but I will do my darned best, and will survive twins, as have you. You are a hope and an inspiration!
I was an always get up and go kind of person, but with twins I quickly learned to become more patient, and I also guess, I do enjoy the stir they cause when we go out. You become instantly popular. Unlike I was back in my school days, but I won’t go there, now will I? 🙂 It IS special, despite the increasing amounts of twins out there, and I do suck it up, I won’t lie.
You are a Godsend, because you hear from twin moms, and never the dad’s point of view. I think it would benefit my husband if he read your book, heck if you moved in next door, even better, lol. I’m glad we can get a male perspective on raising twins, and how you feel, and it just warms my heart to read how you love your twincesses to pieces. I can feel the love in your words. God bless ya friend:)
@Shelly – Thanks for sharing your experience and kind words!
I would give you the same exact answer as your friend did. “I didn’t expect to be so anchored to the house.” My husband works all day and I am a stay at home mom. Now that the nice weather is here..I definitely can’t stay inside all of the time. For me the hard part is not remembering everything I need exactly, its the stress that I feel taking them out by myself.Honestly, I think I was more comfortable taking them out when they were infants then I do now because at 9 months they are very active, and they don’t want to sit in the stroller and car seats for very long. When they would be asleep and I knew i had an hour or more I was a lot more comfortable taking them out.
Some people may enjoy the attention that twins bring but I definitely don’t. For instance if I am trying to run an errand and I just want to get in and get out… I always have a million people coming up to me asking me about the boys..are they twins?how old are they? ext. ext. I have enough to worry about when I am out alone such as just trying to keep them happy while I am out. Let alone diapers and feeding.
@Jenna – I hear you! It is definitely harder when the twins are mobile and can’t stay in their stroller. Being “famous” isn’t all that great when it interferes with the tasks you need to complete.
Once our twins were harder to contain, we tried to time our outings when they were in the best mood. We also tried to get them to help when possible so they could be positively involved in our errands.
@Brenda – twins are a huge challenge and it impacts each parent differently. Now that our girls are a part of our family, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I love them tons and while they are a lot of work, it is definitely worth it!
@Michelle – thanks for your kind words!
Feels good to read this! Thank you!! I had taken my 4mo twin girls, along with my other two kids to the beach with family and nearly lost my mind. By the time I was able to sit and actually enjoy myself, 5 hours had gone by and my relatives were ready to start packing up again!! Lately I have felt so frustrated with being tethered because I was struggling with “I should…” pressure because of how often I used to take my older kids out and about. Your message has helped me put things into perspective!!
@Charmaine – The 1st year with twins is notoriously difficult. The good news is that as your twins get older, trips to the beach (and elsewhere) will be a lot more enjoyable.
Hi joe, im really glad i read this mate, in fact im thinking of printing it out and giving it to my parents ! My wife gave birth to our beautiful twin babies just over 6 months ago. They are an absolute joy and we have them in quite a good routine. I work 5 days a week 7 my wife does a brilliant job of looking after them. Between sleeps we/she have about a 3 hour window, and leaving the house is a real struggle, unless its a real quick dash to maybe do a few groceries, or to visit one set of grandparents. My father tore into me tonight wanting to know why he only see’s his grandchildren once or twice a week, i tried explaining how difficult it is, and that we have to visit their other grandparents also. He makes out that im just neglecting them and i actually left his house in tears tonite, wat a man eh. His argument is that he raised 3 children, but cant accept that its totally different with twin babies. I really hate the way this is panning out with my parents, oh and by the way, babies are 6 months old, we live ten mins away and mum & dad have been to our house to see them twice ! It seems that its our responsibility to do all the visiting, i cant win. Anyway, im away to cuddle my two wee stars
@Sean – You’re absolutely right: twins are different from singleton babies. It is hard for those that haven’t had twins to understand our circumstances.
Here are some thoughts on how the grandparents can help:
If getting out of the house is hard, try inviting your parents or your in-laws over to see you.
Love that I’m getting all the perspective before the kids are born. 4 1/2 months to go. End of August hopefully September get to full term.
Only 1 grandmother thank god it’s my wife’s mom and she lives in the same city. Though I wish my mom was still here but….
All my relatives are on the other side of Canada so a little hard to get the help.
Sorry babbling but thank you for all the advice before hand
@Bill – glad to help!
My twins are almost 11 months. It is hard to leave the house with newborn twins! Nobody seemed to understand and i felt bad we would have to cancel hopeful plans. But, now I worry about the coming months as they’re becoming mobile. How will we manage when they will want walk and play-in different directions I’m sure!?!
@Rhiannon – when they move in different directions, it does become a bigger challenge. When you are out in public, you might consider leashes. As always, it will help to go out when you and your partner can help with the kids.
My twins were preemies (31w 5d) but not “preemie enough” for the RSV shots last year, so we HAD to keep them in the bubble at home from October till April, basically! Talk about cabin fever. The minute the temp outside hit 50 degrees I was out walking with them. Tougher now, though (18 months old) because they won’t just sit in their stroller, fall asleep, etc. They want to run all over the place so there are definitely places I won’t attempt on my own. Even simple things like a Mommy and Me music class, story time, stuff like that – can’t do it unless hubby comes with me to do 1 to 1 defense!
An earlier commenter mentioned how his parents don’t get why it’s so tough – my in-laws are the same way! We invite them, they decline – their loss.
@Aimee – I can see why you had cabin fever! Best of luck now with the twins running in different directions.
To Brenda….. Do you think we ask to have twins? No! It just happens and you make the best of what you have been given.
This is spot on! I had a day just like this today! God bless you for your honesty! We have your book and 11 mo old twins!
@Theresa – Thanks for reading my book! Best of luck with your twins.
I love to read more. But i have to sleep a little, my 1 yr old twins just got a nap. I still have work at night. Good thing they dont wake up that much in the middle of the night.
Looking forward to read your page. And yes im still working from home since pandemic happened and wont be returning to office until they hit independency. Lol.