When you find out that you are having twins, you will experience a range of emotions.
Be prepared for this array of feelings:
You’ll experience fear. Fear of what? Fear of the unknown. You realize that having twins will not be easy. You’re not afraid of hard work but you don’t really know what your reality will be like.
One Solution: Fear not, my friend. Many have gone down this road before. We’re here to help.
You’ll think: “How am I going to afford twins?” Your mind will race ahead to double everything – clothes, bikes, college tuition, weddings, etc.
One Solution: Think “used.” Used clothes, strollers, car seats, toys, etc. are all great to help mute the financial burden of twins.
You’ll think: “How am I going to fit all these kids in my current house? Where will they sleep? Where will we put double the baby stuff like strollers, car seats, baby swings, and the like?”
One Solution: Unless you’re in a one bedroom apartment, you don’t have to go buy a new house to accommodate your twins. You can make do with what you have.
You’ll get sick to your stomach as you try to process all these other emotions and thoughts. You’ll be nervous with a mix of being overwhelmed and stressed.
One Solution: Don’t eat much if you feel sick to your stomach. Stick with liquids so you don’t get dehydrated. Resort to protein bars or shakes to keep your caloric intake up. You also may not get much sleep that first night (or beyond) because your mind is racing, but that is just a preview of life with newborns.
(RELATED: Still looking for the right twin gear? See my Twin Baby Gear Essentials.)
Odds are, these are your first twins. They may even be your first kids. You’ll think “What am I suppose to do?”
One Solution: There are plenty of other fathers of twins out there. If we can do it, so can you. You can get help from others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
You’ll think: “Really? My wife looks the same. Is she really pregnant with twins?” Your ultrasounds are surreal. Yes, there are two little heartbeats. But it is hard to believe it is real.
One Solution: Pinch yourself. It is real. They don’t fake ultrasounds except in movies and on TV.
“How can I possibly care for two babies at the same time?” Taking care of one baby seems overwhelming enough. “How can I physically hold, cuddle, change, dress, soothe, or feed two at once?”
One Solution: Get helpers. If you are alone with the kids, it is fine to take turns. Change one at a time. Feed one at a time.
You’re going to be a father of twins. You are in an elite fraternity. That is awesome! If you ever wanted to prove what a great dad you are, this is your chance.
One Solution: Keep the excitement. Think ahead to playing with your twins and don’t be afraid to make plans for the fun times ahead.
(NOTE: Still expecting? Get weekly updates on your twin pregnancy here.)
What would you add to the list?
Picture by Len Currie
6 thoughts on “8 Things Every Dad Feels When He Learns He is Having Twins”
NERVOUS- I have never even held a baby with two arms….let alone held two babies with one arm each!!! What if I hurt them??? I’m big and they are soooo tiny!! These thoughts have been running through my mind for almost 5 months now. We are due in December with boy/girl twins. I am definately excited, but nervous. I know I can and will be a great father it is just the early stages that make me nervous. Once they can walk and talk…its on!! My wife and I have been together 11 years and these are our first children. I have read about every one of your topics and have found useful hints and tips. Thanks a bunch for the info but how do I overcome this fear of handling them???
Paul, I had that same fear. I was that quiet guy that steered clear of babies at pretty much every opportunity. You get over it pretty quick once you remember the fundamentals of supporting the head & neck. Just remember there’s never any reason to rush picking them up – slow is fast enough.
@Dave – good reminder to move slowly and methodically.
@Paul – Nervous is definitely one of these feelings every dad gets.
Before our first child was born, my wife and I took a class at the hospital that included things like how to hold a baby, how to change a diaper, and how to dress a baby among other things. Look for a class like this in your area.
Another idea is to find friends that have babies and pay them a visit to practice holding an infant.
Take heart in the fact that babies are very resilient and flexible and they don’t break very easily!
I understand all of these, but didn’t end up with them all, myself. I was neither sick nor skeptical, but the absence of those two just made more room for “Cramped” and “Poor.”
@Dave – we each have our big challenges!