I asked several mothers of twins on Twitter a simple question:
“Based on your experience as a twin mom, what’s one thing dad can do to best support his partner/spouse on their twin journey?”
These twin moms responded with a boatload of wisdom in short, easy to digest tweets.
Read their responses below and take their advice because it works!
Take Both Twins
@twindadjoe Good question! Taking some time with both twins so she gets a full break. Also, split ups where each parent takes one = fun,
— jenya cassidy (@oneunionmom) April 5, 2016
— Kelly Wenzel (@kellywenzel) April 8, 2016
— Twin Love Concierge (@twinconcierge) April 14, 2016
Odds are your wife is caring for the twins almost the entire day. You need to take your turn and ease her burden. Give mom a break and you’ll all be better for it.
Be the Cheerleader, Coach, and Counselor
@twindadjoe my husband reminded me of my goals & kept me from quitting. The best breastfeeding supporter that doesn't have breasts! Lol
— Down Home Duo (@DownHomeDuo) April 5, 2016
@twindadjoe hmm… Support, love, food, as they get older same message but different voice.
— Jude Sutton (@jude_sutts) April 12, 2016
@twindadjoe be supportive and be present. Twins are a gift but more work than one can imagine until they hit age four!
— Lara Druyan (@investingmom) April 9, 2016
Keeping perspective is really hard when you are sleep deprived and in the trenches of twin child care. Encourage your wife and do all you can to support her as she mothers your twins.
Work the Night Shift
@twindadjoe Get up with her for the overnight feedings, an extra hand to diaper, burp, and cuddle gets everyone to sleep again faster
— Erin Novacek (@smwhereinthemid) April 5, 2016
@twindadjoe For the first year, figure out a way to share the work equally or more at night, esp if your partner is breastfeeding.
— Katherine Schulten (@KSchulten) April 6, 2016
@twindadjoe be extra helpful when ever u can. Willing to take shifts so she can rest 🙂
— Dani (@xodanix3) April 6, 2016
Nothing says “I love you” like taking the night shift with your twins. You need to take turns and equally carry the responsibilities of caring for your twins. Nighttimes provide a great opportunity for you to share the load. Take the entire night or break it up into shifts so you can each get some rest.
Proactively Help With Everything
@twindadjoe b there,love babies & wife,change diapers,help feed/cook & let wife sleep,b kind,gt xtra help in,pt babies on schdule,laugh lots
— sanam (@sanambna) April 6, 2016
@twindadjoe What a great question! Be willing to help with the babies – a lot. Mom can't do everything herself. Help her get some sleep!
— Sophia McDonald (@SophiaWriter1) April 11, 2016
@twindadjoe By saying "how can I help" at any point, or having that mentality in any situation definitely is the best form of support!
— Mandey Ejiasi (@mamamandolin) April 12, 2016
@twindadjoe Don't make her ask you to take out the trash or throw the laundry into the dryer. Just do it.
— Becca Bryan (@Peaceable) April 12, 2016
@twindadjoe great question; the answer changes as they grow. At first, changing diapers, holding a child, letting her sleep, feeding her.
— Carrie Hughes-Grant (@Carrie_HG) April 13, 2016
@twindadjoe in my experience – just being hands on helping with anything and everything -Kimmy
— Twiniversity (@Twiniversity) April 14, 2016
@twindadjoe Doing chores around the house, without asking "what can I help with". There is always a billion things to be done by everyone.
— Lisa Collins (@amomontheside) April 14, 2016
Being a parent of twins requires both parents to give their all. You must be present and always helping. There is always work to do. Step up and do it!
Take Care of the Other Children
@twindadjoe Helping out with the older siblings was great! If there aren't other kids, giving mom a break is helpful too.
— Alison Lee (@AlisonSWLee) April 11, 2016
If you have other children in addition to twins (like we do), you’ll need to split responsibilities between all of them. Take turns caring for the twins and the siblings so everyone gets the attention they need.
Let Mom Sleep
@twindadjoe That's a great question! I'd say find a way to let her get sleep. I completely underestimated how crazy sleep deprivation feels
— Sarah Bernard (@SarahnBernard) April 5, 2016
@twindadjoe Be patient and be sure she gets enough naps!
— Sharmell Huffman (@RealSharmell) April 7, 2016
@twindadjoe wow! congrats on twins! fun! In the early days my hubby would allow for me to get a power nap in from 6-9am! How old are they ?
— maybelleimasa (@maybelleimasa) April 9, 2016
The greatest gift you can give your sweetheart is to let her rest. Find time for her to get a nap. Take care of the twins during the night so she can rest a bit longer. You get the idea: give her as much sleep as possible.
(NOTE: Still expecting? Get weekly updates on your twin pregnancy here.)
Find Your Daddy Duty
@twindadjoe good question. Be involved – find an activity that will be your thing to do with them so mom can rest! Hope that helps 💕
— Kid Style Junkie (@KidStyleJunkie) April 7, 2016
I loved to help with bath time for our kids. It was something I could do and it gave my wife a break. Find your activity/chore/job that you can help with.
@twindadjoe hire a great nanny who does the laundry or do it himself, same with the cooking. Laugh.
— Sheryll Cashin (@SheryllCashin) April 8, 2016
@twindadjoe If you can afford it, get a night nurse or some sort of help. If not, just help with feeding as much as you can. 🙂
— GoonSquadSarah (@GoonSquadSarah) April 7, 2016
@twindadjoe in my view same as with the 1 baby. I think however that a tight family network is key with 2 & help of family members is vital.
— Fairweather Photo (@FairweatherPhot) April 12, 2016
Raising twins is hard. The more help you get, the better. This could come in the form of family, friends, or paid helpers like nannies or night nurses. If you have the budget to pay for helpers, it is money well spent.
Be a Team
@twindadjoe Well, the nice thing about twins is that it's pretty hard not to be involved as a spouse–there is so much to do every day.
— Ingrid Alongi (@electromute) April 5, 2016
— Catharine Baker (@Baker4Assembly) April 10, 2016
@twindadjoe Be an equal partner! Its a lot of work, worth it, but a lot of work. Be sure that you find balance in work and for yourselves!
— Kasie Smith (@kasiesmith) April 12, 2016
@twindadjoe I asked my husband and he said, "be flexible" sounds right to me! So individual what works for one pregnant woman or 2 babes
— MindBuck Media (@mindbuckmedia) April 14, 2016
@twindadjoe Hi Joe! Be an equal partner. Wake up at nights, do diaper changes, be an equal presence in their twins' lives.
— Nina Garcia (@SSBEblog) April 14, 2016
You and your wife are partners. Work as a team and encourage each other on your twin journey.
What advice would you add to this list? If you’re on Twitter, click below to share your best advice:
Otherwise leave your helpful tips in the comments below.
Original photo by Donnie Ray Jones