by This question comes from Marilyn. She says, “My son and his wife are expecting twins very soon. They have a 2-year-old daughter, and they live about six hours away. I’m going to be able to spend two weeks possibly with them. What’s the best thing I can do to help them out?”
Offer Overnight Help with Twins
Marilyn, your son and his wife will definitely benefit from your help. One thing I would recommend is that you try to plan your stay around when your son is taking time off from work, if he’s able to take time off. That way there will be at least two adults in the house at any time to help with the infant twins.
Now, during your visit, be willing to help during the night shift caring and feeding for the babies. This will be the biggest thing that you can do for your son and his wife is volunteer to help with the babies overnight. Because as parents of newborn twins, they’re going to be completely exhausted and sleep deprived. So if you can volunteer to help overnight, it will help relieve that burden from them.
If it’s the three of you in the house as adults — your son, his wife, and you — you can get into a rotation where two of you are on duty every night, and that will let you sleep through the night once every three days. This is what my wife and I did when we had people helping us with our newborn twins.
This question was originally addressed on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Episode 36: Finding a Nanny for Twins, Biggest Help with Newborns, Work Promotion vs. Family.
Picture by Bill Strain
I agree that parents will need help with time to sleep, however how much help will depend upon whether mom is breastfeeding or not. For us the greatest help was a few hours nap in the evenings and for someone else to handle the dishes, laundry, and other chores as well as supplying food. This could be convenience foods bought at the grocery store or meals cooked. I think the best help is to ask what can be done.
@Jessica – good point about breastfeeding. Hopefully any helper you recruit would be willing to do what needs to be done, whatever that is in your family.
Can’t wait. My boys are due by c section on the 4th September. First kids and we are older. 46 for each of us.
But I’m taking a month off, my wife on the year mat leave.
2 right there.
My mom died when I was a boy, I want her there but…
My dad long gone too but my aunt (mom’s sister ) coming mid September and my mother in law life’s on the other side of Calgary , AB, Canada (our home)
Help we have. Hope it’s enough!
@Bill – I’m glad that you’ve got some help, it will make things easier.