One email I got this week was from a mom, and she’s worried about her husband kind of taking a casual approach to the twins. Dad wants to play it by ear and not really plan, just roll with whatever comes, and she asks “Is that realistic?”
You Must Plan for Twins
The answer is no, it’s not realistic. I mean, the babies are going to come one way or the other, whether you’re prepared for them or not. What happens after they get here can be very different depending on your preparations.
You need both Mom and Dad to help. While it is possible to wing it with twins, to make it up as you go, I do not recommend it. That’s why I have a podcast. That’s why I have this website, to help you make it through this challenge so you don’t have to wing it or make it up as you go. Infant twins are a mental, emotional, and physical drain on parents. The more you can prepare now, the better of you’ll be when the twins arrive. If you can take care of a lot of the logistics and preparations around your house and then line up helpers to come in and assist after the twins are born, then you’re going to be in a much better spot than having to scramble to do all those things after the twins arrive.
Use the Pregnancy to Practice
Now as you progress in the pregnancy, Mom is going to need more rest. This will give Dad a hint of what is coming later. Dad’s going to help out even before the twins arrive. For example, my wife was on bed rest toward the end of the pregnancy, and so I got a taste of what I had to do to take care of the other kids, help around the house and continue to make preparations for the twins. So it is a good practice time, if you will. The pregnancy’s a great time to practice what it’s actually going to require from Mom and Dad after the twins arrive.
Dad, Get in the Game
The bottom line is that dads must be active in taking care of Mom, the twins, and the family. Dads have to get in the game. They cannot sit on the sideline for twins. They have to be a dad. So if you’re worried that your husband is taking kind of the casual pass as preparations for twins, talk to him about the reality that’s coming and why he is important to this entire process. He’s important to you, important to your family, and important to your twins, and it’s not going to work without him.
This question was originally addressed on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Episode 40: Preparing While on Bed Rest, Early Twins, Positive Mindsets.
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