by If you have another child or children before twins you might struggle with the question, “How can I help my son or daughter feel special even though twins are joining the family?”
It is a big challenge to prepare your son or your daughter for the arrival of their new siblings. You’ll need to effectively manage your older child’s feelings.
One on One Time
One of the key things that you need to remember of how you can make your son or daughter feel special, even though they are becoming a big brother or big sister to your twins, is that you need to spend more one on one time with that child. Nothing is going to show your child the love that you have for them more that your time and attention.
That is going to be difficult once the twins arrive, because you are going to have your hands full caring for their basic needs. However, you need to make sure that when you have breaks from the twins (like when they are sleeping) to spend time one on one with your other child.
Gifts from the Twins
One thing that we did for our boys (we had two older boys when our twin girls joined our family) is that we got gifts from the twins for their older brothers. Now of course the twins did not arrive in the hospital with gifts. We had to make those arrangements beforehand. We bought some cheap flashlights for each of our boys and wrapped those up in wrapping paper. When the boys came to the hospital to meet their new baby sisters, we presented the gifts to the boys from their baby sisters. Our sons were so excited to get these gifts and open them up and see them. Almost as excited as they were to see their baby sisters!
It was fun to help them feel special and loved and appreciated through an act of gift giving with the twins’ arrival. Maybe, just maybe, there was a little bit of good will on the part of the girls because hey, they gave their brothers a gift.
Involve in Preparations
As you prepare for your twins’ arrival, definitely involve your child in the preparations. Twins should never be a surprise to an older brother or sister. They can help in many different preparations: going shopping for items, helping prepare the house, reading books from the library about being an older brother or older sister. Definitely involve your children as you prepare for your twins’ arrival.
If you want more help in getting your older kids ready for twins, check out chapter 3 of my book, the “Dad’s Guide to Twins.”
This topic was originally addressed on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Episode 80: Weaning One Twin, Carrying Twins Solo, Your Other Child.
Picture by Steve Spinks
(RELATED: Don't reinvent the twin parenting wheel. Get my 7 Things Every Dad of Twins Needs to Know.)
I love the idea of giving a gift ‘from the twins’. I wish I had thought of that!
@Nikki – I know our boys loved it. I will have to give credit to my wife for the idea though!