When you are in the midst of the challenges of caring for your twins, you’ll wonder, “does it ever get easier with twins?”
The answer may surprise you. The answer is no.
It never gets easier because there’s never a shortage of challenges with twins regardless of where you are in the twin journey.
Ease on the Journey
You could be expecting twins, you could have new born twins, you could have toddlers, teenagers, and beyond. So the challenges change overtime.
It doesn’t get easier, it gets different. And different could be good because in retrospect, it makes it look like things were easier in the past. Why is this? It’s because it is harder to see around the corner of the problems of today because they cloud the future.
If you’re completely sleep deprived with newborn twins, it’s going to be really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though the light is there, it’s just around the corner. Relief maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of months away.
Temporary vs. Permanent
So when you’re wondering, “Is it going to get easier?,” think about what you’re struggling with today. Ask yourself, “Is this something that is permanent?” The answer is it’s probably not permanent. It’s probably temporary.
Whatever it is, the challenge, the problem that you’re facing, what you’re struggling with, is likely directly related to the age of your twins. If you’re still expecting, it may also be related to how far along in the pregnancy you are.
So what you’re struggling with today may not be the same challenge that you’re struggling with tomorrow or next week. Things are going to evolve as you progress in your journey as a father of twins.
Won’t Always Be a Problem
Think about the challenges you face when you’re expecting twins. Well, they will not stay in there forever. Your babies will eventually be born. And all of the sudden, boom, problem solved. No more pregnancy problems.
(RELATED: Don't reinvent the twin parenting wheel. Get my 7 Things Every Dad of Twins Needs to Know.)
Maybe there will be health complications with your twins. Poor mom may be on bed rest. But it’s not going to be that way forever. The twins will be born on average at 36 weeks, but they’re not going to be in there past 40 weeks. And you’re going to welcome them into the world, and then you’re going to have a new set of challenges.
For example, are your twins not sleeping well? They will eventually. It’s going to take several months for them to adjust to a good sleeper routine. Eventually they’ll start to sleep longer and longer through the night.
Are you potty training without results? Hang in there. I don’t know anybody my age who’s still has a diaper. And probably, you don’t have friends with diapers either. Kids will eventually understand how to use to potty, and they’ll do it.
Don’t lose faith in the inevitability of success.
As your twins age, your challenges will evolve. In the beginning, that’s all about survival. How do I feed my babies? How do I get them to sleep? Changing diapers. And that’s it.
Eventually, these things become non-issues because your twins are self-sufficient. They’re able to feed themselves, sleep and go to the restroom.
Then your challenges evolve to something that I think is even harder. How do you actually teach your twins to be human beings in life and in society? That’s where the real challenges come up. Teaching them right from wrong and to make difficult life choices.
So does it ever get easier with twins? No, not really. It just gets different. Your twins grow and the challenges change.
(RELATED: Still expecting twins? Will you be having two boys, two girls, or boy/girl twins? Answer these quick questions to see what several old wives’ tales claim you’ll be having….)
But easier? No. You rise to the challenge. You can overcome it day by day.
For more information, I talk more about overcoming the challenges of raising twins in my book, the Dad’s Guide to Raising Twins: How to Thrive as a Father of Twins.
This topic was originally addressed on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Episode 88: Different Not Easier, Crib Escapes, Celebrities and Twins. Original photo by bhenak