How can I love my twins as much as my other child?

Joe Rawlinson by Joe Rawlinson - March 23, 2013

An expectant twin father that already has a son asks, “How can I love more children as much as I love my current son?”

Dad with Son

This frequently asked question is one asked by most fathers, particularly those having a second child (and third in the case of twins).

As you begin the parenthood journey, you grow to love your first child and ultimately can’t imagine life without this son or daughter in your family. As time passes, you start to forget what life was like before this little one joined your home.

Then you find out you are expecting your next child–or two. When our second son was born, I had similar thoughts about how I could love him as much as his older brother. What kind of relationship would I have with him? How would that compare to the relationship I had with his older brother?

Fortunately, there is an amazing phenomenon of parenting that I don’t think is unique to twins. The magic is that your ability to love expands to cover all the new children that join your family. You may have heard this from others before. It’s true, so don’t fret! Look forward to experiencing the magic yourself.

I love my first born as much as my fourth child. At each point that a new baby would join our family, I wondered how it would work. And yet, it did. I instantly fell in love with each of my kids when I first saw them in the delivery room.

(RELATED: Check out the Dad's Guide to Twins Youtube channel for additional helpful twin tips and tricks videos.)

Twins offer a unique experience to their fathers. With twins, you need to love not just their older sibling(s) but both babies at the same time.

Nevertheless, the magic of parenting holds and your love will expand to cover both your newborn twin babies.

I think the fact that most twins come early and are smaller than singleton babies makes them even more endearing to you as a father. You can’t help but reach out to them and want to love and support them in their fragile, newborn state.

Will you be able to love your twins as much as your current child(ren)? Absolutely!

Picture by Ed Yourdon

Further Reading

Dad's Guide to Raising Twins book
Don't forget to pick up a copy of the definitive guide to raising twins. "Dad's Guide to Raising Twins" was written for fathers of twins to help guide you through the first several years with twins. Click here to learn more about the book and get your copy.

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