How to Bond with Your Twins

Joe Rawlinson by Joe Rawlinson - August 26, 2020

How to Bond with Your Twins

As a father of twins, you want to bond with your twins and build a strong, lasting relationship.

The key to this bond with your twins is to spend one-on-one time with each of them individually.

If you spend all your time with both twins, your attention will be divided.

Remember that your twins are individuals and each has his or her own personality and quirks.

Bonding with Infant Twins

The best time to bond with infant twins is when you are helping with their daily necessities.

Take the opportunity when you are feeding, changing diapers, or dressing your twins to talk with them and focus on them individually.

When our twin girls were still infants, I loved to take turns feeding each one. As they slowly drank their bottles, I could study their faces and expressions and talk with them about the great future that was (and is) ahead of them.

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Bonding with Toddler Twins

My favorite bonding activity with toddler twins is to take them out one at a time to lunch. You can have father/son or daddy/daughter lunches with each of your kids too. I’ve found that getting out of the house with one of the twins helps focus all my attention on that one child and is a great way to build and strengthen my relationship with each child.

If lunch doesn’t work for you, consider other outings with just you and one of your kids. This could be a Saturday activity, an errand to the store, or another time together that best meets your schedule.

Make these one-on-one times a routine event and your kids will look forward to this tradition with Dad.

(RELATED: Don't reinvent the twin parenting wheel. Get my 7 Things Every Dad of Twins Needs to Know.)

Juggling Work and Still Find Time for Bonding With Twins

I received a question from a dad who is trying to juggle the realities of life and caring for his family.

He said, “So my wife can stay home with the twins I will be working two jobs. So, I am wondering what I can do in the little time I am there to bond with them. I am scared about having one with this challenge, and now with twins, I’m kind of freaking out.”

I can fully understand that would be a cause for freaking out. It’s not easy to be able to provide for your family, and juggle the demands on the home front and be able to spend time with your twins.

Especially if you work two jobs, it’s going to make scheduling extremely crazy.

Twin Gender Predictor Calculator

Fortunately for you, or maybe unfortunately for you, the first year of twins, the twins are going to be up all times of day, all times of the night.

So, regardless of your work schedule, odds are you’re going to be home and awake when twins are awake, and you can have an opportunity to interact with them.

Focus on Home Time

What I would do is when you leave work and come home, it’s home time: family time and undivided attention for the kids. What this means is that you’re going to have to put on the shelf any hobbies, or extracurricular activities, or even personal time you may have had before.

It’s going to have to be all focused on your family, especially if it is important to you to be able to bond with those twins when you’re not working.

(RELATED: Don't reinvent the twin parenting wheel. Get my 7 Things Every Dad of Twins Needs to Know.)

When you come home, immediately look for opportunities that you can spend time with your wife and your kids, and how can you help take care of the twins.

Bonding Moments With Twins

Especially when the twins are newborns or infants in their first year, there’s plenty of opportunities for you as a dad to be able to help with those responsibilities.

You could be changing diapers, feeding the babies, getting the kids dressed, or getting them ready for the day.

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If you have opportunities to go out and run errands with your family, that’s another chance that you could have to bond with your twins.

Look for the little moments that you can spend with your twins.

Bonding is Possible

Yes, it is a challenge. Juggling work and two new twins in the household is going to be a monster of a responsibility. But it is doable as long as you are able to clearly divide your attention between work and home.

When you’re at home, be present. You’re home with the twins and looking for opportunities to spend as much time with them. Even if it’s as simple as holding them in your arms, feeding them, reading to them, or tucking them in at night.

As a dad, I really enjoyed helping the kids get ready for bed at night — giving them baths, getting them in their pajamas, and sending them to bed at night. I really enjoyed that opportunity to bond with them on a one on one basis.

(RELATED: Expecting twins? Avoid these 4 critical mistakes expectant twin parents make.)

Regardless of the age of your twins, you can make time for each individual child. This time focused on each child will be the foundation of a strong bond and lasting relationship with your twins.

(Picture by redagainPatti)

Further Reading

Dad's Guide to Raising Twins book
Don't forget to pick up a copy of the definitive guide to raising twins. "Dad's Guide to Raising Twins" was written for fathers of twins to help guide you through the first several years with twins. Click here to learn more about the book and get your copy.

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