How to Give Enough Individual Attention to Twins

Joe Rawlinson by Joe Rawlinson - September 12, 2012

Your attention will be divided with twins. Particularly in the early months, your head will be spinning as you try to take care of your twins and family. With all the chaos, how can you be sure to give enough individual attention to your twins?

Here’s some things that have worked with my twins that you can try in your family.

Take Turns with Each Child

When caring for twins, it is easy to jump in and mindlessly care for whichever baby is in front of you. While this will work in meeting the immediate need, you’re missing out on an opportunity to build a relationship with each of your twins.

One way to guarantee you give individual attention to each of your twins is to take turns with the child care tasks.

Look at the tasks that will happen multiple times a day or week (especially when the kids are young). Consider how you can take turns caring for each child in these instances:


Take turns bottle feeding each twin or burping them after they’ve been fed. When they are older, you can spoon-feed one solids or sit next to a different toddler at every meal.

Changing Diapers

Talk to your child when you are changing diapers. Yes, you can go beyond commenting on the stink and mess.


Take turns dressing your twins. As they get older, talk with each as you help him or her get dressed and find out their preferences and styles.

Bath Time

Bath time in our home has been traditionally a Dad duty. While the efficient engineer in me wanted to throw all the kids in the tub at once, I enjoyed the single baths I’d give my infant children since I could focus all my attention on one at a time.


Story time is a favorite in our home. Sit each twin on your lap in turn and read each a favorite book or story.


In the spirit of efficiency, it is too easy to give a group good night greeting and song and then leave the kids’ room and move on to your kid-free evening. However, to help spend individual time with each twin, hover near each twin’s crib or sit on the edge of her bed to sing a song just to that child.


While your twins will likely play with each other most of the time, there will be moments when you’ll find one twin playing or reading by herself. Take that time to sit down with the child and talk about what she is doing. Yes, you can even play one-on-one!

(RELATED: Check out the Dad's Guide to Twins Youtube channel for additional helpful twin tips and tricks videos.)

One-on-One Outings

In addition to seeking opportunities around the house and with child care to give individual attention to twins, you’ll need to put things on your schedule to make more moments happen.

I love to schedule a Daddy/Daughter lunch with each of my girls. I’ll take them out to eat and enjoy this tradition which gives a great forum for individual attention and relationship building.

Stranger Twins Shirt

When you make a focused effort to bond with your twins, you’ll see opportunities to give individualized attention to each.

Picture by Richard Scheepers

(RELATED: Your twins will need a lot of gear. Here's the complete twins baby registry checklist to get ready for your twins' arrival.

Further Reading

Dad's Guide to Raising Twins book
Don't forget to pick up a copy of the definitive guide to raising twins. "Dad's Guide to Raising Twins" was written for fathers of twins to help guide you through the first several years with twins. Click here to learn more about the book and get your copy.

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