by I got a great question this week from an expectant twin father who already has a young son at home. He wondered about how he would juggle time demands with twins and a toddler.
Having a toddler by himself is a handful for any parent. When you combine that with newborn twins, things get really crazy.
When our twin girls were born, they joined their brothers ages 3 and 22 months who had preceded them in our family. So I know firsthand how this situation can be challenging.
How can you juggle the time demands of twins with a toddler? Here are some things to consider:
- Lower your expectations. Whatever you thought you could get done won’t get done.
- Forget about you. Newborn twins require all hands on deck. Toddlers definitely need attention, too. You will be busy and it will be a rare moment that you find time to do anything you want to do.
- Get help. There is no shame in asking for help from family or friends. Many hands make light work and you can always use an extra set of hands to help with the twins while you push your toddler in the swing for 20 minutes.
- Let it go, whatever “it” is that you were expecting, particularly during waking hours. Time to relax? Let it go. Time for sleep? Let it go. Time to clean? Don’t even think about it. You get the picture.
- Prepare your toddler for the arrival of twin siblings and make conscious efforts to plan out how you will handle your other child when the twins come home.
Handling twins and a toddler is a challenge. If you go into it mindful that you will need to tend to all of your children’s needs–even if that means getting some helping hands–you’ll be able to manage.
Best of luck!
(RELATED: Check out the Dad's Guide to Twins Youtube channel for additional helpful twin tips and tricks videos.)
Picture by surlygirl
Love it. Twin girls due in 4 weeks and it was my daughters 1st birthday yesterday. The deck is being cleared as we speak!
@Matthew – Congratulations on your upcoming twin girls! I wish you the best in these final stages of the pregnancy and as you welcome your daughters into the world.
I have a 3 year old and a twin boy and girl who are about to be 2 months. I’ve only had to be home alone with them all day twice while my husband is at work & at night school.
I know you said to just let it go, but how do you keep your sanity?
I can sort of deal with no “me relax” time, but the other night during a midnight feeding, my husband said that the house was a mess & because of the chaos around us, he felt chaotic & out of control over his home. I then traded any possible sleep/nap time in order to clean up the place. How do you do it & pick the battles?
Sorry for the rant! I’ve been on 3 hours of interrupted sleep lately. Thanks!
@Charlene – It is a frustrating situation. Keeping your sanity is a challenge particularly in the early months of newborn twins. Your husband will need to reset his expectations of “normal” now that twins are in the house. It was hard for me too to accept a messy house but I had to prioritize what I wanted most: a clean house or sleep. I chose sleep and let my wife sleep too.
I just came across your website and it sounds like we have the same little family…well almost. We have 2 boys – Cohen turned 3 in April & Lucas will be 2 in July- and we are expecting our twin girls in September (due october).
We are currently living in England due to my husband’s job so we are away from all of our family. We do have people here that will be able to give a helping hand – but I guess my question is –
What to do in the event that the babies have to be in the hospital for an extended period of time? how did you juggle having the toddlers AND newborns? I mean, I honestly think once the babies are home – yes I’ll be exhausted – but it will all work out. I’m just concerned if I have a csec and traveling to the hospital (in cambridge about 45min away) to see the babies while I still have these little guys at home and I won’t be able to drive for the first week-10 days.
I guess I just need to hear how things go from someone that has literally been in the same shoes as I am right now.
THANK YOU!!!!!
@Michelle – Congratulations on your upcoming twin girls. You’re right, our families are almost a match! We were blessed such that our girls didn’t have to spend time in the NICU. However, you are wise to think through the possibilities with your girls just in case.
If your girls need an extended hospital stay, you could use the “helpers” you have lined up to watch your boys while your husband (or a friend) drives you to the hospital for a visit. You might be able to take your boys to at least look through the glass into the nursery (if your hospital has that setup) and see their little sisters.