The time will come when only one of your twins is invited to a birthday party. What do you do when only one twin is invited and the other has to stay home?
Keep in mind, as your twins get older, they will have different interests and friends. This is especially true if they’re in different classes at school or at church. They might also meet different friends at one of their extracurricular activities they may be in. It could be dance class, or gymnastics, or baseball, etc.
Remember that each twin is their own person and will have and needs to have their own unique experiences. When one of them gets invited to a birthday party or not, that is one of the unique experiences that they can experience.
Is it a problem?
I don’t view getting one invitation for one twin and not the other as a problem. Regardless of if you have boy/girl twins or same gender twins, your twins will only see it as a problem if you make a big issue out of it. Lead by example by setting the tone for this situation. Talk to your twins. Ask them what they think. Are they even concerned that one was invited and the other was not? If they’re not, great. If they are, it’s an opportunity for you to talk with them about this situation.
Birthday Child’s Wishes
Keep in mind that you cannot force the birthday child to invite the other twin. That, of course, is not fair to the one having and hosting the party. Make the most of this situation. It is a teaching moment for your twins. This is one of those life lessons, that they’re not always going to be able to do everything the same, or everything’s not going to always be equal. Teach them that this is the reality of life and that that’s okay.
Take Advantage of the Opportunity
When one of the twins goes off to the birthday party, take advantage of that time and that situation to spend one-on-one time with the other twin. Very often we don’t have enough time for one-on-one interactions with each of our twins. And so when one of your twins is invited to a birthday party and the other is not, silently you can celebrate the fact that you’re going to get a little bit of one-on-one time with your child. Enjoy that!
(NOTE: Still expecting? Get weekly updates on your twin pregnancy here.)
This topic was originally addressed on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Episode 79: Your Twins in Public, Terrified of Having Twins, Birthday Invites.