Episode 102 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes
Listen as we discuss these questions from your fellow parents of twins:
- What should you buy new vs. used for your twins?
- How can both parents spend alone time with each twin as a couple?
- What does it mean when twins are breech?
Hi there everybody, and welcome to the 102nd episode of the Dad’s Guide to Twins podcast. This is Joe Rawlinson. As always you can find me on the web at twindadpodcast.com, where you will find much more information on having and raising twins, along with the short notes for this episode. In fact, you can go back and see all previous podcast episodes at twindadpodcast.com.
In case you missed it, I’ve made a deal with Audible, home of great audio books where you can get a free audio book version of my first book, Dad’s Guide to Twins, and you can get that at freetwinbook.com.
Today we’ve got three great questions from parents of twins like yourself.
The first one is from Paul, he asks, “When is it okay to get something used versus something new for your twins?”
Here’s the rule of thumb that I want you to follow, and that is when safety is involved. You want to lean more towards buying something new, than something used.
The question then is what do I mean by safety of your twins? There are two big things where you have to be extremely careful with your twins. One is the car seat that your twins are sitting in. Buying used car seats may be an attractive option for you because of the price. However, if you’re buying from an unknown source, and you don’t know the history of that car seat, it could be very dangerous for your babies. These seats may have already had some trauma to them or they might have already been in an accident. In which case, their effectiveness and safety has been decreased, and is therefore not good for your twins.
If you’re going to buy used car seats, you need to know the history. You want to buy from a trusted friend or family member who can give you the back story on those car seats. Otherwise, buy something new, and you won’t have any trouble with your twins.
The other thing that you want to keep in mind when with the safety of your twins is your crib that the babies are going into.
You can buy a used crib as long as it is a recent model, the last couple of years. That way, you’re going to be sure that it’s up to spec with the latest safety standards and requirements to keep your baby safe. Now, when there comes a time to buying something used, of course everything else is open for options of buying something used. When you’re talking about more expensive baby gear like a swing, a stroller, or a furniture, like a dresser, changing table, all those things are great to buy used. Odds are the previous owner used them for just a short period of time, and are still very functional for your needs as a parent.
One thing that is always okay to buy used is clothing. Kids and babies go through clothing so quickly that you’re going to find very gently used clothing articles at consignment shops, thrift stores, or even from friends and family. This is true particularly when your kids are smaller, and they’re not wearing off their clothes, as they are when they get to be older children.
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Make sure the toys that you buy for your children are recent and with actual manufacture dates The last podcast we did with Tom Treanor, the certified professional baby proofer, gave some great tips on what to look for, and the types of toys that you buy for your children.
What should you buy used versus new? You can buy almost anything used as long as it’s going to be safe for your kids, and you could probably save some money in the process.
The next question comes to us from Kevin, he says, “My wife and I rarely get to spend time with only one child at a time. Sometimes we will each have one, but we never both have one while we’re together. How do you make time for one twin at a time as a couple?”
Kevin this is a great question because I always encourage parents to be able to spend one-on-one time with their twins. The challenge, of course with twins is exactly what we’re describing, how do you handle that where both parents can be with the twins, and not just one, say dad with one twin, or mum with one twin.
This is where you need to go down the route of, who’s watching after your twins, and are there other things that you could be doing to open up some free time for you as a couple to spend time with one of your twins.
One situation could be, you send one of the kids off to grandma and grandpa’s house. That works great if you live near family, or friends, or someone else that can watch one of the twins while you spend some one-on-one time with the other.
Another option is you could stagger your schedule a little bit may be by 30 minutes, then leverage time when one of the twins is napping to spend time with the other twin. I caution you on this one as I’ve always encouraged parents of twins to keep them on the same schedule because it makes life a lot easier. The only time you’re able to find one-on-one time with your twins is if you stagger schedules that may be an option for you. Staggering the schedule does not cause as much trouble the twins get older.
Remember that there’s a time and a season for everything, and that’s also true here in this situation spending one-on-one time as a couple with your twins. When they’re very young you may not be able to do that. It may just be one parent with one twin, and that may have to suffice for now.
The older your twins get and the more self-sufficient that they become, the easier it is for you to spend as a couple and have one-on-one time with each of your twins. To facilitate this you may also consider distracting the other child if the staggered schedules doesn’t work, or you can’t send them off to another home or grandparent’s home. You may want to distract the other child and you get a few moments alone with one of your twins. That could mean putting on a movie, letting them play with their favorite toy, or putting them in a Pack and Play for play time separate for you. This may not give you a lot of time because the other child may need attention, and you don’t want to leave them alone per se especially when they’re very young.
You need to think creatively of how you can spend some one-on-one time as a couple with each of your twins – which is a very admirable goal. Look at your routine during the day, and look for pockets of opportunities. You’re going to find something that works for you and your twins.
Those are the questions for the show today. If have enjoyed the show, will you please do me a favor and head on over to iTunes or Stitcher, and leave a review of the podcast. That will help other parents of twins like yourself find the show, I will greatly appreciate it.
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