Episode 116 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes
Join us as we continue the Father of Twins Interview Series with Adam Ross.
Listen as we learn about Adam’s twin journey, what has worked in their home and some of the challenges they have overcome, including:
- how their gender reveal party completely surprised everyone
- why a positive attitude helped both mom and dad during the pregnancy
- logistics of their scheduled c-section delivery
- advantages of having an in-home nurse when caring for newborns
- balancing working from home and caring for newborn twins
- thinking you’re prepared versus actually being prepared
- what sleeping arrangements worked with their babies
- best thing about being a father of twins
- how they improved their marriage even through the challenges of twins
- family travel with infant twins
Mentioned in this episode
Hi there and welcome to 116th episode of the dad’s guide to twins podcast. This is Joe Rawlinson as always you can find me on the web at twindadpodcast.com. Where you will find much more information on having and raising twins along as show notes and a transcript for this and all previous podcast episodes.
Today’s show is brought to you by twintshirtcompany.com. Fathers day is right around the corner at the time of this recording you should head over to twintshirtcompany.com for the father/twins in your life if that is you or for a grandpa or for father in law we have shirts for everybody. Twintshirtcompany.com
(RELATED: Expecting twins? Avoid these 4 critical mistakes expectant twin parents make.)
Today on the show we are continuing our father of twins interview series with a fellow father of twins Adam Ross. Let’s jump right into that interview.
Today I would like to welcome to the show Adam Ross a fellow father of twins of twin girls, welcome Adam.
Adam: Thanks a lot, Joe.
Joe: I am glad you could be here with us to share your story about your twins. Why don’t we just give people a snapshot of your current family situation and then we can rewind the clock and go back to how it all started.
Adam: Sure, currently I am a father of twins 7 and a half month girls Ava and Kayla fraternal twins beautiful, smiling, and happy going back so they are 7 months old and it has been an amazing journey from learning that we were going to be parents, to learning that it was twins, to letting our families which were a wild occasion where we had a gender reveal party and we told everybody that it was going to be twins. Then to actually dealing with the pregnancy and into the birth, it’s been incredible.
Joe: Are the girls your first children?
(RELATED: Love podcasts? Check out the entire Dad's Guide to Twins Podcast archive for additional twin tips and interviews with twin dads.)
Adam: They are our first children, yes.
Joe: So, tell us about when you found out that you were expecting twins. What were some of the thoughts you were having back then?
Adam: Uh, it was overwhelming but thrilling at the same time. We have been trying for a couple of years and we were thankful what we found out and we were just incredible excited. The logistics of it, say omg two, but at the same time we were just so happy to be blessed and we found out that it was going to be girls. We had 106 years straight of boys in my family so it was pretty big to have a couple of girls. That was pretty wild and to tell them and have that recorded on video forever was very special and the girls will be able to see when their grandparents found out that they were going be girls there is nothing better.
Joe: So, tell us about that you mentioned a gender reveal party. How did you share that with your family and friends?
(RELATED: Your twins will need a lot of gear. Here's the complete twins baby registry checklist to get ready for your twins' arrival.
Adam: Yea, it was actually in combination with my wife’s birthday. We had let everybody know that we were pregnant but nobody knew that it was going to be twins so I actually went online and found a company that had fortune cookies that custom made the tape inside the fortune cookie. I had them write that Roh and Adam are going to be expecting twins and everybody opened that first and went crazy and then it was oh, what are you having? This is a gender reveal. So, the first one we did a scratch off we got offline I think it was at party city and the scratch off reveals either a pink or a blue onesie. Everybody scratched off and saw the pink one and then the second one we had a box with balloons in it more traditional and we opened up the box and there were pink balloons saying it’s a girl and again everybody kind of went crazy. So, we had those moments captured it was incredible.
Joe: That is great, that is one of the things I enjoyed going back and watching the videos of when we told people we were having twins. Cause we didn’t have a video of ourselves and our reactions but it was really fun to watch other people. When they discovered we were going to be having twins in our family too.
What were some of the biggest concerns that you had during the pregnancy with the girls?
Adam: Uh, well my wife well , we are a little bit older. I am in my low 40’s and my wife is in her mid to late 30’s so we were high risk and especially with twins. She also worked up until 8 months so there was a concern of her working but she was dedicated and loved her job enjoyed what she was doing and it was great. At the same time, the concerns were just over she had a lot of NICU concerns overall potentially but we ended up carrying to full term so that ended up not being a factor and I just really tried to keep it as calm and loving and as relaxing atmosphere so that there really weren’t those concerns you know of course we had them and we voiced but we really tried to keep it as positive as possible the whole time and I think that made a big difference.
Joe: Absolutely because you can stress yourself out like crazy worrying about all the potential complications. If you take a more positive approach and just handle those challenges when they come it makes life a lot easier and a lot more pleasant.
Adam: Yea, every ultrasound had a bit of we were excited but we were nervous excitement you know are they going to find something but at the same time, it was more about we are going to see our babies and we are going to see them grow. We’re going to see how much bigger they are how much they’re developing and how much closer they are to coming here. It was again about being positive.
Joe: That’s great did you all have to move to a bigger place or get a new car to accommodate your twins?
Adam: We did well we had already moved so we had a room and we had prepared the nursery but as Jewish tradition and custom we didn’t bring any of the furniture or toys or anything in until the babies were actually born so after they were there was a mad scramble to coordinate all of that. I ended up going out and getting a vehicle with 3 rows mostly so my wife could sit in the 3rd row and watch the twins in the middle row captains chair we ended up getting a GMC Acadia.
Joe: Yea, 3rd row comes in handy for uh extra storage space or for somebody to sit back there with the kids so that is good.
Adam: Absolutely yes, it has been very versatile and it is good because the captains chairs are important because if you only get the bench then you can’t get to the 3rd row and there aren’t too many vehicles at this point that still make captains chairs. So, you are somewhat limited cause you have to deal with the 2 car seats that are rear facing and getting around that is kind of a challenge.
Joe: It is a challenge especially if you don’t have that aisle all the way between the chairs. It makes it really hard. So you said that your girls were full term. How many weeks were they when they were born ?
Joe: 38, that is wonderful. How much time between the births of the girl?
Adam: Two minutes.
Joe: Two minutes, that is just like us. So did you have a c-section or was it a natural vaginal birth.? How did that go?
Adam: It was a c-section and thankfully everything went very smooth.
Joe: Is that what you were expecting c-section?
Adam: yea, it was actually a scheduled. She went right up until the morning of and it was scheduled and they prepped and wheeled her into the room and they had me wait outside while they prepped her and within about 3 minutes they pulled Ava out I am taking pictures and he said oh, you better get back over here and 2 minutes later there’s Kayla coming out and shows her to me and the world’s been better ever since.
Joe: That is true, yes that is a good way to put it the world’s been better since that’s right. Are your girls identical or are they fraternal?
Adam: They are fraternal. They definitely have a distinct look between them. Ava came out a little heavier, Kayla was a little bit longer and Ava’s grown and she is a little bit bigger than Kayla but they unique in their personalities as well. There are times when they have the same kind of smile and same kind look and you can definitely tell that they are sisters and it is so sweet they are at the 7 months so they look for each other and there looking to hold hands. It is just starting with the recognition they don’t want to go to sleep because they are having their little chatters it’s incredible.
Joe: That’s great. So when mom was discharged the babies came home with her? There wasn’t any left at the hospital.
Adam: Yes, thankfully we all came home together that day and actually had a baby nurse. My father was very generous to arrange for a baby nurse for the first few weeks and I set it up so that she could come the day that the girls came home. So we had a third person helping us taking care of the girls from day one and that really made a huge difference for helping my wife recover, for helping us get to sleep, she did all of the overnight feedings. My wife tried to breastfeed and she pumped for awhile and she helped with the latching and with the feeding and all of it. Again she was instrumental and it was one of the best gifts anybody’s ever given us.
Joe: Yea, that is wonderful. So was the nurse with you 24/7 or just during the day.
Adam: Oh yeah, she lived in our house with us for a couple weeks. Then she took a break for a few days and then she came back for two more weeks and then we were set on our own. At that point, we felt that we had a really solid and really good education on how to take care our girls and what they really need and it helped get us through those really difficult trial months with an experienced professional who specialized in twins and had been working with twins for over 20 years.
Joe: Well that is great, that is a great way to jump start being a parent of twins. Those first weeks and months are very challenging as you know and having any amount of help is a huge blessing and benefit.
Joe: Well, tell us about the work situation. You said your wife worked until about 8 months and so like how much time did you get off from work and how did that play out?
Adam: Well, she went on maternity leave about a month before and I worked right through the birth pretty much and I was making calls from the hospital but work was really good about the birth and about giving us time to get to know each other and to bond as a family. They said to take whatever time you need and what I did, in the beginning, was I worked around the feeding schedules once they came home. So, once they were feed I wasn’t doing the feedings my wife and the nurse would handle the feedings I would go down into my basement home office make my phone calls to my clients and to my prospects I am in sales. I am also dealing with corporate emails and all that digital stuff that I do.
Joe; Alright, that is a good arrangement then. What surprised you the most when you brought your girls home?
Adam: Oh, that is a good question that is a tough one. Everything surprised me. It was all kind of new I didn’t really know what to expect at all. How ill prepared I think we were even though we thought we were very well prepared. We were just getting started and we really didn’t know much of anything that is what kind of surprised me. We read the books and you know, we got advice and thought we really new and had some idea and once you get home your like wow this is really on us now. That is a whole different story. That is what surprised me probably the most.
Joe: Yes, there is that learning curve no matter how many reads or talk to other people it is when it’s finally up to you, right. You’re not at the hospital anymore, it is all up to you as the parents and that is when the rubber hits the road. You just figure it out and that is one of the blessings of being a parent is somehow you find a way to make it work.
Adam: Absolutely it’s you just adapt I guess as soon as you get home you figure it out. It’s like oh we didn’t do this and this and you get it all done and the kids do great. You learn and you grow as parents cause that is a journey as well as helping them grow up and watching them grow your growing as a person as well.
Joe: Yep, that is right, so when you brought your girls home were they in their own room or were they in your room with you and your wife.
Adam: They were in their own room with the nurse actually. We would bring them in with us for a little while and then we would have them around 11 o’clock have the nurse takes them for the evening and she would do the 2am and the 5am feeding so that my wife could sleep and recover from the surgery and again that arrangement couldn’t have been better it, it help my wife thrived and avoid all kind of potential issues and again just terrific. Once the nurse left we had them sleeping with us in the room. We had bassinets and a rocking n sleep. One of our twins had a bit of a congestion thing so we had to have her slightly elevated so the fisher price has this rock n sleep that we kind of had her angled down and that worked very well. The other slept in a bassinet next to us and then after about two or three months we started them in their own cribs. We started with the cameras and the baby cams. That was a difficult adjustment but we got more sleep and the girls took to it very well. They really did.
Joe: So, what were some of the challenges you had when you transitioned them to their own space.
Adam: Mostly for us it was worrying that we couldn’t hear them on the monitor uh, or hearing them breathing we got kind of use to that and that was difficult and the babies really were great they slept right through and other than when they got up and were hungry I don’t think they were uncomfortable making that transition it was more difficult for us than it was on them.
Joe: Right, yeah we found out to we worry as parents and we worry a bunch while the babies are literally sleeping were freaking out in the other room. So you mentioned the rock n sleep baby gear was there any other baby gear that you had or have right now that has been very useful to you?
Adam: Um, sure there is we just recently were on a local swap group and we ended up picking up a Jump a roo that rain forest Jump a roo is really great now that they are a little bit bigger and they are developing it is helping them learn how to stand and straighten their legs and they love to jump and there is a lot of stuff for them to distract and activities and the motor skills are really developing well with it. It really just throwing a blanket down on the ground and rolling around with them and letting them roll and try reach for things and doing tummy time that has been some of the most valuable. There was a Fisher Price piano thing that they can hit with their feet that were one of the first toys we started to play with them that they started to respond too and it was the music. Babies love music.
Joe: That is great sometimes it’s like the simple things like you said getting down on the floor with them that gives them chances to interact with you and with each other and work on those motor skills. So what have you loved the most about having twins?
Adam: Twice the love watching my wife take care of the girls and seeing her grow and develop has a mom, how it has brought our marriage even closer together and I didn’t think that was possible they been amazing watching the smile every day and getting the greeting actually that is the best when I see them in the morning. I get to walk into their room and I get these huge smiles first thing in the morning.
Joe: Yes, that is neat when you get there facial expressions and reactions when they see you in the morning or after a nap or when you come home from work that is just priceless.
Adam: Across the room after feeding time, I walk into the room and there sitting in the high chairs and all of a sudden they don’t want to eat for a second and I get yelled at but it is worth it.
Joe: Nice, so you mentioned your marriage has improved so what are something that you have found that work to help try to maintain your relationship with your wife through the pregnancy and now through the first several months with twins?
Adam: Well a lot of it is communication and giving her breaks as often as I can. She does most of the work with the kids as most moms do. I try to change as many diapers as I can, I try to spend as much time as I can I give her the mornings so she will do the overnight feed. So if the girls wake up now at 4 or 5 in the morning she will feed them but once it comes to 7 or 8 o’clock I will get them up and get them downstairs change them, play with them for a little while and even get them ready for breakfast or feed them if need be before I gotta get moving and get my day started. Again just giving her that time and making sure that whenever we can we will schedule a date night that is very important that we actually get time for us. Early on it was a little bit difficult to get time for us with the feeding schedule but as the girls slept through the 2am and getting them to bed early and early after about 5 months we had them to bed by 7pm and we had our evenings back and that made a big difference.
Joe: OH, yea that is a game changer. When you finally have your evenings back its like you have a whole new life again.
Adam: Yea, yea we could actually sit down and have dinner and the girls sleep and we have the monitor going but we know pretty much that they are going to sleep through until at least 3 or 4 in the morning about almost every night.
Joe: That is great that is a good schedule to be on. So where did you all go on your first family vacation with the twins?
Adam: We went to visit my father and step mom in Flordia. They live down in North Miami and so we took the nurse with us and that was after the baby was 3 months old and then had mostly all there shots up to that point and they had developed more of an immune system we were worried about them flying earlier but that was an adventure getting to the airport with a twin stroller having to check the car seats because the stroller is one that is a frame that drops the car seats in. Having the nurse with us again was a tremendous help because we could trade off and pass the girls between the three of us and then we could get a break or use the restroom or whatever we needed too. Because of course in the plane your not allowed to have the car seats. Traveling with them was great once we got down to Flordia the weather was great in the middle of January you can’t ask for much more but the actual logistics of travel getting the anchor for the car seats latched in while their waiting and cranky and want to go and it’s hot. That is when you start to learn what pressure is so that was a great time we were able to take them out and really get them to experience the sunshine and the beach and the wind and breeze. They were born in October so they really hadn’t gotten out much so it was really nice to experience that and of course to visit with grandparents who hadn’t seen them in about two months.
Joe: That is great did you all have a direct flight or did you have to change planes?
Adam: Oh no thankfully we did a not stop we live in the Newark area so we flew to Newark to Fort Lauderdale non-stop and grandparents met us and I rented a minivan and actually ended up driving up to Orlando after about ten days with the family and we spend 4 days in Orlando together and then flew home from Orlando.
Joe: Oh fun trip very nice. So what is the best piece of advice that you have received about raising twins?
Adam: Oh boy buckle up and it is a tremendous ride. Just remember that they are each individual and they are both it’s hard because they are twins but they grow at different times and they have different milestones and they are going to be different people and it is hard sometimes. Again, that has probably been the best advice is treat them as individuals and make sure that they get one on one time with each parent. That they are able to yes have sister time but also going to have one on one time with each parent and then with both parents together. I think that is something that you had talked about previously and I use the advice from the blog quite often.
Joe: Yea, it’s great it is buckled up it is quite the adventure. That is very true. So Adam as we wrap up today if listeners want to connect with you what is the best way to get in touch.
Adam: Well I actually started a group on facebook for fathers of the United States it is called USA fathers of twins and multiples we got over 400 guys in there and we share all kinds of stories and sport group pics of the kids. It is a great resource and anyone who wants to connect can join there and it is a private group it is requested only we want to make sure pictures of the kids. I do that with everyone that goes in to make sure they are really fathers and they really live in US. I get plenty of request from people that are international but this is a select group of just the people. If you mention and you can find me on there . You can request me, Adam Ross, that the let me know that you came from the twins dads Joe is also a member of the group. So that will be the best way to connect.
Joe: Sure, I will link that up in the show notes where listens can find that at twindadpodcast.com. Well, Adam thank you so much for sharing your story with us today we really appreciate it.
Adam: Joe I really appreciate the time and again this twin dad podcast and twin dad blog has been a tremendous resource for my family and I really appreciate you doing it and there is a lot of dads out there that really appreciate it as well.
Joe: Thank you. Well I hope you enjoyed that interview with Adam as he shared his twin journey with us. Again a link to his Facebook group so if your a father of twins in the United States hope you can join us in that group and you can find a link to that at twindadpodcast.com.
Once again today’s show is brought to you buy twintshirtcompany.com head over there to check out the amazing t-shirts we have for mothers and fathers and grandparents of twins. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you next time.
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