Dealing with Twins’ Individual Needs and Issues with Ian Sadler – Podcast 248

Joe Rawlinson by Joe Rawlinson - September 22, 2021

Dealing with Twins' Individual Needs and Issues

Episode 248 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes

Today we continue our father of twins interview series with Ian Sadler, father of identical five-year-old twin boys. Listen as we explore his twin parenting journey, including:

  • When one twin isn’t growing as fast as the other in utero
  • At 25 weeks, issues arose but managed to get to 32 weeks
  • Boys spent 3 weeks and 5 weeks respectively in NICU
  • Creative naming of the twin boys after a basketball player of Dad’s alma mater
  • One boy on heart monitor when came home due to Bradycardia
  • Dealing with sensory processing disorder
  • Boys in separate classes
  • Birthday celebrations so they feel celebrated
  • Preparing at night for the next day
  • and more…

Connect with Ian on Twitter

Transcript

This is auto-generated so please forgive any mistakes.

Joe 0:00
Super creative naming of twin boys after a basketball player at dad’s alma mater, plus the joys of raising nearly five year old twin boys today on the show.

Intro 0:13
Welcome to the dads guide to twins podcast the podcast that will help you survive and thrive as a father of twins Now, here’s your host, the author of the book, the dads guide to twins Joe Rawlinson.

Joe 0:28
Hey there and welcome to the 248th episode of the dads guide to twins podcast. This is Joe Rawlinson. As always you can find me on the web at twindadpodcast.com where you can find the complete transcript for this episode, and you can listen to all previous podcast episodes. Today we continue our father twins interview series with Father of identical twin boys. Before we jump into his story, I want to let you know that today’s show is brought to you by twintshirtcompany.com. Where you’ll find unique designs of T shirts designed specifically for us families of twins, there are shirts for dads, moms with the grandparents and the twins themselves. You can browse all the shirts at twintshirtcompany.com. Today we’d like to welcome to the show, father of twins. Ian Sadler. Welcome to the show, Ian.

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Ian 1:14
Thank you, Joe, excited to join you today.

Joe 1:16
Ian, how old are your twins right now? And what’s something exciting about this age?

Ian 1:20
So my twins are four about to turn five. And right now we’re in the phase of life where they’re, they’re deciding on what their unique styles of life are. So one of my one of my kiddos is very sports focused and the other one likes to sing in the bathroom and tell everybody he’s a rock star. So they’re, they’re formulating their own unique identities right now. And it’s but it’s all it’s right at the beginning of them. So they’re still very similar, but at the same time, there’s glimpses of who they may become in the years to come.

(RELATED: Still expecting twins? Will you be having two boys, two girls, or boy/girl twins? Answer these quick questions to see what several old wives’ tales claim you’ll be having….)

Joe 1:52
They always kind of demonstrated different personalities like you’re describing

Ian 1:56
a little bit. I think I think that early on, we anticipated what their personalities were going to be but as you can imagine, we’ve been dead wrong, right? So you know, you think that you have this specific vision of what you anticipate based on names based on initial characteristics, but yeah, I work in college athletics is my assumption is that they’re going to love sports. But they’ve established their own identities and they’ve gone to complete different directions.

Joe 2:26
Are they identical or fraternal?

Ian 2:28
They are my boys are identical. mono di twins.

Joe 2:34
I have mono di girls. And, so do you? Is it is it pretty obvious who’s who are other people still tricked by telling them apart?

Ian 2:42
Yeah, they Um, so for us, it’s pretty easy. So they weren’t they are identical twins. However, in your you’re in utero, Landen was growing a little bit faster than Luke was early on. And so forever, we describe Landen as the one who has a little bit rounder, a face. And he’s always been, you know, three, four or five pounds heavier than Luke. And so for us, it’s, it’s pretty easy to tell which one is which. But for others, we occasionally have to make sure we label them with stickers or, or different colors, and each of them has their own favorite color that they wear, which makes it easier for our friends.

Joe 3:22
Yeah, for sure. We had to find some patterns, or we would dress them in different colors. It was all really to help other people. And in help us later, like if we took pictures of them, we can look back and see who was who based on on like the color clothes they had on

Ian 3:35
early on. Luke was on a little bit of a monitor. And so when he looked back at pictures, it’s impossible to tell who was who except there’s a little there’s a little cord hanging off the sock of Luke. And we can always tell which one he is.

(RELATED: Don't reinvent the twin parenting wheel. Get my 7 Things Every Dad of Twins Needs to Know.)

Joe 3:48
Let’s rewind the clock back to when you found out that you were going to be having twins. What was your family situation like at that time? And how did you find out?

Ian 3:56
So my wife and I, at the time had only been married for years. It we you know, we were in the phase of life where we were considering starting, you know, the family and kind of realizing that, hey, everybody’s experience in pregnancies is unique. And some folks are fortunate to get pregnant at an early, early timeframe. Others have to wait many years. And so we were just mentally preparing for, for what that outlook would be. And, and so we fortunately got pregnant early on, in the timeframe that we were we were trying and I was we were both living in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was working at the University of Tulsa. And right smack in between our families. My family’s from Kansas, my wife’s family’s from Texas. And so it all all of the steps around us kind of came together perfectly. And so we found out one day after church that that we were pregnant, and it was obviously our first pregnancy and so we always laugh that between the When telling my in laws and us finding out ourselves, my wife probably took 10 to 12 different pregnancy tests just because you can’t use never know. And you want to make sure that information is shared correctly the first time that you share it. And we actually it was Halloween, when we have 2015. When we found out when we confirmed ourselves that we were pregnant after that 11th test, we decided that that was enough for us to start sharing the news with my in laws. And so we surprised my in laws by driving down to Dallas, Texas, our Halloween costume that night was was a line and a plus sign. And we had our in laws, guess what we were and we told him we were a pregnancy test and that we were that we were pregnant. And so that was the earliest phase of figuring out that we were pregnant.

Joe 5:50
So how much time after that did you find out there was not going to be just one but two?

Ian 5:55
So we went in about I want to say so we my wife had her next or first exam to confirm that we were pregnant. And then it was probably a month, maybe two months later that we went in for the sonogram. And the bless her heart that the tech put the the the sonogram checker, what’s the technical term for that, put it on, on my wife and kind of moved around. And again, this is our first pregnancy. So they’re in the back of your mind. There’s always this concern of, of you know what’s going on. And the tech kind of gasped, and we’re like, our hearts sank a little bit. But then she goes, Well, here’s baby a. I’m like, well, that’s interesting. And she doesn’t, here’s baby B. And we my wife shot up and we just like in complete shock. My wife said a few choice words that only come out when she’s really surprised. And we all giggled and and then the text said and here’s and she goes No, I’m just kidding. There’s only two in there. So so that was the day we found out we obviously called my in laws and but held off on telling my parents until a later time and and we were going to surprise them a little bit differently. But that was the day. And I want to say that it was probably a week later that I shared with some of my best friends what was going on in our lives and, and one of my friends directed me to your book. And we kind of went from there.

Joe 7:26
Awesome. That’s great that you can be there together. I know the ultrasound technicians. Sometimes they just come out and they tell you what’s going on. or other times they like to tease you with information. So it’s always fun to see how that actually plays out. Are there any complications during the pregnancy?

Ian 7:43
There was yes with it. And obviously there’s always you know, some concern for hurdles throughout throughout any pregnancy. But about halfway through we realized with with mono/di twins that there was some pacing issues with with our boys. So the trying to remember the term for it, but there was some essentially the chord for one of my boys Luke was was placed kind of off to the side on on the placenta, right? So he was not getting the same distribution of nutrients that Landen was. So fast forward. Again, there’s there’s a little bit of a weight difference and a size difference between the two of them. But at that time, it was just something that we were going to have to keep an eye on. So about 25 weeks into the pregnancy. And then we’re going into the doctor every every couple of weeks couple of weeks, it started showing glimpses that, that Luke was pacing a little bit slower than Landen. And so we were encouraged that the goal was to get to 32 weeks. And we got to 32 weeks and realize that Luke was pacing about 2728 weeks at that time. So at that time it was it was the perfect time from the doctor’s perspective to deliver our boys. And we got them out and they were delivered c section. Luke was two pounds 11 ounces and Landen was four pounds and one ounce. And there’s always that he again first pregnancy so I didn’t really know what to expect in the delivery room. But the doctor said pulls out Landen, who again is four pounds one ounce, looking like a bobble head. And she goes well here’s the big one. And kind of showed us and quickly rushed him off. And then they said and here’s here’s Luke, and he showed us and quickly rushed him off as well. So so we had some hurdles early on. But But we were very fortunate to have really experienced doctors in Tulsa where we were living at the time and ended in a special Nick you unit there at the hospital in Tulsa as well, that that really, that really provided us an experience that we had less worry and more more support than we ever could have imagined it to This day where should we still have great friendships with the nurses and the doctors who continuously check up on the success of our boys and how they’ve grown and, and it really feels like, you know, not only do we add the twins to our family, but but our family of friends grew from that relationships with those nurses and doctors.

Joe 10:15
That’s great. It’s always reassuring when you get good professionals that can help you. Because you’re probably like, all this is, is unknown to you. It’s a can be very anxious time situation. But to have reassuring medical staff there is a huge benefit. How long were your boys in the NICU? Or do they need to stay for some extra care?.

Ian 10:37
So So Landen was in the nick new for I believe it was three weeks, and Luke stayed and additional two weeks after that the whole goal was to to get them I believe it was that eight pounds was the goal of getting them and so and then the heart monitors and everything else that came along with it but so yeah, Luke Luke was in there for a total of five weeks. Landen was in there for about three weeks.

(RELATED: Still expecting twins? Will you be having two boys, two girls, or boy/girl twins? Answer these quick questions to see what several old wives’ tales claim you’ll be having….)

Joe 11:02
So you have an interesting story of how you came up with the names for your boys. So what you tell us how that happened to

Ian 11:07
do. I do so I’ve been very fortunate to work in college athletics for about at that time, it was about 9-10 years and my alma mater is the University of Kansas now if you if you graduate from an institution that has a high caliber of athletics programs, the first opportunity you get to name something whether it’s a goldfish, a dog a baby or twins there’s always that that idea in the back of your mind to to name it as a as a tribute to your storied Cali college history. And so when when we found out we were pregnant, with with with this with what we thought at the time was a single child, my wife jokingly said no, you can absolutely not name the child. Wilt Chamberlain Sadler or, or BILL SELF Sadler. Right. And so, you know, that was always in the back of my mind that we joke about. And then when we found out that there were twins, we discussed there was some twins, I played basketball at Kansas, Marcus Morris and markieff Morris that went on to the NBA. And so jokingly, I would refer to the twins as Marcus and markieff. Or there are days that I would do rock and chalk all kinds of traditions attached to the University of Kansas. And so one day my wife who worked at the time she did social work at the time while she was pregnant she she came home and said hey, I you know I really like the name land and I she had interacted with a child whose name was Landen. And I was like, that’s great. I love that name. And I said I also love the name Lucas. And the both L’s it fits really well together. I mean, twins, we assumed the names had to be very similar. And and I was like, but we could call him Luke, right. And so she’s like, ah, Landen and Lucas Lucas and Landen, Luke and Landen, it just works perfectly. And so in the back of my mind, the reality was, is that at Kansas, there was a basketball player named Landen Lucas. And he was still he was still in on the basketball team at that time. And so we fast forward through you know, through the pregnancy and basketball seasons coming around, and we’re watching a basketball game. And keep in mind the last couple of months prior to this, my wife is referring to the boys as Lucas and Landen or Luke and Landen. And we’re watching the game and Landen Lucas just has a phenomenal basketball game that day. So we’re sitting there on the couch watching it and then he’s getting rebounds and put put back points and his name is just popping on the TV constantly. So I’m just watching like a normal fan. Well, my wife looks over, elbows, me in the side points at the TV and she goes Landen Lucas huh. And so it finally clicked to her. And to me, I just thought it was a great opportunity to take advantage of because she brought one name to the table I brought the other and and so in the back room, you know, overall, we have a tie back to something that was very beloved to me and the names fit the boys perfectly. And we’ve been fortunate to connect with Landen Lucas over the years and his family and we stay in touch and provide them updates on our boys constantly but it’s a it’s a very unique story that we kind of took a maximize the opportunity in front of me when my wife delivered the the name Landen.

Joe 14:22
That’s great. That’s a great story of how your boys got their names, or your boys old enough now to be aware of that history of their names?

Ian 14:29
They are not and that was that was our other favorite part of you know, lane and Lucas had a great career at the University of Kansas but if we’ve since moved, you know further away from from Kansas and work at other schools and it’s it’s less obvious, you know, living where we live now, versus if we lived in Kansas folks would be a little bit more aware of it. But But living out of state it’s not front of mind for anybody else. And one of these days I’m sure the kids will have some sort of opportunity To share you know that the history of their name or the source of their name, and we’ll visit the store with them. There’s some, you know, there’s some some articles online about in a couple of YouTube videos that we’ve hold held on to and, and we’re excited to visit that with them in the future but, but as of right now, Luke thinks his name is lukey. And Landen thinks his name is superspeed Landen. So, we’re gonna let them keep their names just like that for the time being.

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Joe 15:29
You mentioned some time in the NICU for each of them. But then you brought them home. What were some of the things that surprised you the most about having infants in the house?

Ian 15:39
What surprised me honestly, what surprised me most was the speed at which I drove from the NICU with both kids in the backseat of my car, I think I drove eight miles per hour, the entire drive back to our house. Um, you know, both both of our boys were on. We’re on one of our boys was on a heart monitor when he came home. And so you have that safety net of knowing that something else is keeping an eye on on your boys that there’s concern, but you also have that paranoia that this could go off at any time. And, and it think it was bradycardia is what he was going through at the time. And but the experience was, you prepare as much as you possibly can, but you don’t know how extreme or how pushed, your limit is redefined? In a sense, right. So we were waking up between that between our two boys every every 15 minutes throughout the night, every 30 minutes, depending on if it was a good night or a bad night. And, and my wife was who’s a rock star to begin with was she was also Nursing at the time, and so nursing twins throughout the night. And so I think I complain about the limited amount of sleep that I got. And I know she got maybe a fourth of the sleep that I had for those first few months. But you you set up your household in a way I mean, I’m sure it’s like building a house, you you establish that household and in whatever way you think you’re going to utilize it. And in so we put their room together but but after getting into it and getting into the life cycle of these boys stuff just kind of evolves. And you realize, hey, maybe I didn’t need that changing table, because I’m really just going to change them on the floor. Or you know, we spend a great deal of money on, on on certain carriers or things to rocker kids to sleep at night realizing we’ve used that thing once. And so it’s all about adapting and what we joke about the whole the whole friends episode is pivoting right, you’re constantly pivoting with your twins, and figuring out their identities, figuring out their their triggers and their the ways that you need to adapt to them individually. And so those were the surprising aspects of of our experience with them, when we brought them home.

Joe 17:56
How long did one of your boys need that heart monitor once he came home?

Ian 18:00
I believe Luke had it on. I believe it was four and a half weeks, I think the goal was to go four or five straight days without the alarm going off. And so the hard things about these little these little monitors is that if you tape it on the tape, right, if you tape it on to their foot incorrectly and it slips the alarm goes off, or if you know if you don’t turn it on correctly, then then it doesn’t count in your in your timeline has to start all over. So I think it had to go a few days without having any sort of alerts before we were officially given the thumbs up that he didn’t have to wear it anymore. But But yes, so so he had to wear it just you know, all things considered. I think it was probably four weeks, four and a half weeks.

Joe 18:47
Have there been any lingering complications? I mean, your boys were born a little bit early and they had some a few issues after birth there anything leftover from that?

Ian 18:55
So So we’ve we’ve learned and we’re continuing to learn they’re four years old. And so some things you know, it’s a little bit early to to diagnose certain aspects but but Landen, who is a big teddy bear we’ve learned has, he’s been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. I think I think traditionally, sensory processing is sensory avoidance, where maybe that that noise is too loud, that light is too bright or this closes these the shirt is uncomfortable. Landen is sensory seeking, which is it’s, it’s, I tend to call it the Hulk effect. So if bear with me here, but if but as an example or an illustration, if your back itches, and a toddler comes over to scratch, it probably not going to satisfy that that itch right? laughs But if an adult comes over and kind of scratches it and then you’re probably going to be well off. So Landen has spatial awareness is just like that, right? So the temperature of the bathtub always needs to be a little bit hotter. He always wants to sit Little bit closer, he always wants to hug a little bit tighter, he will, if he opens a door turns a page of a book, there’s a there’s a possibility he rips that page out because he’s just feeling it a little bit differently than than what everybody else is. And it requires a little bit more and more strength are a little bit more pressure than everything else does. And so there’s there’s other signs of stuff that we you know, that we evaluate constantly. But, but but right now we just try to gauge you know, what is temporary? What can we get, you know, pay attention to now what stuff that we don’t need to be focusing on that, that when that when that page turns, and we need to pursue information on that, and we can accordingly, I think you learn early on in twin parenting, that you can’t sweat the small stuff, and you don’t want to get ahead of too many concerns, because it’s easy to fall in that, oh, he’s he’s one he’s not crawling at the same speed as the other ones not speaking at, you know, at the same level as the other. So I think you really learn early on not to compare and whether it’s with other kids or anything else, you just take every day, one day at a time with each individual child. So. So yeah, there’s there’s, they’re now in pre K. And they’re both thriving within their pre k classes, we made the decision to put them in separate classes, just because we noticed that, you know, each of them could kind of establish their own identity and their uniqueness. When they’re away from the others. We felt like it was also probably easier on the teachers if we put them in separate rooms. But But yeah, so each of them has their unique hurdles. But but we’re taking it all one day at a time and keeping a clear and positive outlook on on what’s to come next.

Joe 21:46
So pre k was this their first year outside of the house, or were they in some kind of daycare before then?

Ian 21:51
So we would do just the evolution of trying stuff, whether it’s you know, I, we move often because of my job. And so when we would move, you know, my wife would keep them home for a little bit until until she found a job opportunity. And when she would we transitioned them into to schooling. So they did daycare for a little bit and then transitioned into a little bit more of a structured pre k setting. This last fall is really the first time that they’ve been in an actual Monday through Friday 7:30am to three o’clock in the afternoon class schedule. So they’re really getting on that schedule day to day where they really know what to transition to next, which as you can imagine is, is transitions are either really easy or really, really tough, depending on the day, but it’s kind of given us a strategy to repeat when they get home. Okay, so when you get home, we’re going to do coloring time, and then we can transition into a dinner and then there’s entertainment and family time moving afterwards. So it’s kind of allowed us to have a little bit more structure to our, to our experience.

Joe 22:58
How have the boys handled being separated in preschool?

Ian 23:02
I think honestly, I think I think it’s been really in their best interest. It’s, you know, if you’re if you’re stuck with a person your entire life and your identity is kind of established as you as a couple, I think you initially it was a little bit difficult that they were going into two different classes because you know, you’re you’re attached at the hip in a sense and, and so when they once they started going to different classes, they were back to being excited to see each other after school, right. So where there’s usually frustration of too much time spent with this other person, I think you’re kind of the distance made them grow fonder. And so there’s that little glimpse, it’s not for long, but there’s that little glimpse when they get back together after school weather excited to see each other again, as they’ve missed each other throughout the day. And we get reports from the teachers all the time that that when one’s walking past the others classroom, they always explain that that’s you know, that’s Luke’s classroom or that’s Landen’s classroom and, and you know, and the teachers are constantly they they’re, they’re identical twins and so they tend to and we we occasionally dress them up the same so they tend to stick out like a sore thumb in their in their schools and and folks know about them you know, parents of other kids go Oh, you’re looking Landen’s dad. And so they definitely have a presence as a unit but putting them apart from each other and it has given them their unique identities and I think they’re really flourishing but being separated has allowed them to grow fonder of each other in their in their absence of being right next to each other all the time.

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Joe 24:35
We’ve had our girls in the same class we’ve had them in separate classes and the but they always come home they’re I mean they share a room they always have everybody’s shared a room as well?

Ian 24:44
So our boy the week we started them out when they were crib bound right when they were in their cribs. They were in the same room. What we found with Landen sensory is that again he likes to cuddle he likes to he likes to give really tight hugs well that was for Landen that was occasionally happening at two o’clock in the morning and not letting Luke sleep and so we we made the decision to transition them into other rooms which I think also helped facilitate they’re they’re in different classrooms as well but and they love it they you know they both know which room to go into at nighttime it’s it’s sometimes tougher on different nights but but yes so they are in separate rooms and in loving it Luke, Luke has his own bed with his his own bedspread, Landen still has the leftover from when my in laws got them these little race car beds early on, but he keeps it in there because some nights he wants to sleep on the floor some nights he likes to sleep in his bed and and so it really gives them space to to establish themselves.

Joe 25:43
You mentioned that they’re turning five soon now that you’ve gone through several birthdays with your boys, what are some of your favorite family traditions for birthdays to help them feel uniquely celebrated? Even though they share the same birthday?

Ian 25:56
My wife likes to plan their birthdays out months and months in advance. And so she’s currently gauging Can we do this type of theme? Or? Or what if we did this week? So we try. We tried focusing on the individual as much as we possibly can we pick certain aspects of their party of who you know, who’s going to love this specific food or you know, what, what is really important to this child that we that we activities that we can integrate into their birthdays, or, or what are the common themes that they both individually like, like one year, they, they both like airplanes, great, we’re gonna do an airplane theme to this, they both are really into Paw Patrol. And so you know, one one likes Chase, the other one likes martial, and it’s colors that attached to the peril that they wear. And so we really try to make the most of that and encourage our friends, hey, if you’re getting something for land, and he really loves this stuff, this is what makes them feel special. If you do something for Luke, he really loves this stuff. This is what makes them feel special. And there’s, you know, all of that kind of integrates into what they as a collective unit love together. But at the same time, we focus on the individual through that. And that’s the same, you know, one of the things that we do, whether it’s birthdays or Christmas, that’s incredibly special than a couple of days before, we will take them both to like $1 store and let them walk around and and ask them hey, what do you want to get your brother, what’s something special that you really think, Luke, what’s something special, you really think Landen is going to want land and what is something really special Luke is going to want and so we individually take them through through the store, they usually pick out something that they think their BrothER’S gonna want. And then on their birthday, or on Christmas, they present that gift to their brother. And there’s a lot of pride from that individual because they really feel, you know, the appearance purest sense of what a special gift is for their brother. And they, they really consider and again, they’re four years old, but you still see the glimpses of it, of what a special special gift will be for their sibling and, and so you see their eyes light up knowing that, you know, again, their their default best friend is really thinking about them individually. And it’s kind of a special experience. And it tips off mom and dad of what they might like individually because they’re pointing out 20 other different things throughout the store that they want. So it’s a nice little twin parent cheat per se, of taking them into to shop for their sibling.

Joe 28:19
Yeah, that’s great. I know, when I’ve taken my girls to shopping for their sister, or for their siblings, they always are looking for stuff that they like too so you’re like, oh, let me take notes about that. That’s okay. Interesting. Thank you.

Ian 28:30
Exactly, exactly. And again, it but that’s also those little glimpses of, Okay, well, one of them really likes dinosaurs. The other one really likes music. Okay, great, that’s helping us see what they might see in each other. Or it helps us kind of understand what their uniqueness are and based off the eyes of their sibling that’s around them that really they know each other the best.

Joe 28:54
So what is working really well, right now, with parenting your boys?

Ian 28:58
preparing the night before, right? So So laying out what the next day is going to look like. So we build schedules, my wife takes you know, she’s she’s found these really bad clip art images of what a day looks like. And so we have a piece of paper that’s essentially Monday through Friday, a piece of paper that is Saturday and a piece of paper that’s Sunday. And, you know, Saturday morning, it’s it’s brush your teeth Eretz make your bed, brush your teeth, go have breakfast, and then the next step is we’re going to do a family activity and then we’re going to watch a little TV and then we’ll do coloring or some other activity, then we’ll move on to lunch. And so it really lays out and so when one of them gets distracted or one of them wants to do something different, we always go back to what that schedule for the day looks like. So that they know what they’re transitioning to. Again, it’s it’s really just adopting the model of what their school looks school day looks like throughout the week. Now saying Alright guys, we’re gonna you know, we might move on to counting and numbers next and then after that, we’re going to look out, look over to the left And reading, but it really is kind of just opening up the day for them, they can see what’s ahead, they can see the stuff that, hey, they really want to go play outside. But first we’re gonna we’re going to work on our reading, so they can see what’s ahead, but they know that there’s something in between there. And so planning that out setting out clothes the night before. And, you know, I think, again, you learn to adapt if you think you’re going to perfectly lay it out on the bed and, and you know, it’s going to be right there in the same spot the next morning now, nope, we, we tend to pile them up on the coffee table and knowing that they’re going to sprint downstairs and lay on the floor and, and then you you wrestle them to put their clothes on every morning, but, but it’s those little cheats, and those little tweaks in between that, that you adapt, or you try getting ahead of as, as the experience progresses,

Joe 30:49
getting the kids in a routine, it’s it may be difficult, but it’s totally worth that effort. Because once they start to know what’s coming next, and how to get ready for that, and in this case, you’re just describing and ready for tomorrow. It makes life so much easier. Because they start to roll with that instead of fighting against it.

Ian 31:05
absolutely and having something with pictures of what it looks like whether it’s a made bed and showing, okay, this is what your made bed looks like, Can you make this bed it becomes more of a challenge versus a chore? And I think they get a little bit more joy out of that.

Joe 31:21
Whenever we can turn. Yeah, chores into like a game, you know, gamify it make it exciting? Make it fun? There are a lot more likely to want to do that for sure.

Ian 31:30
Oh, yeah, the number of times I’ve turned searching for socks and in the laundry as a treasure hunt is you know I can it’s really allowed us to be successful in your everyday everyday tasks and activities.

Joe 31:45
So he in how have you been able to maintain and strengthen the relationship you ever with your wife through the ups and downs of parenting?

Ian 31:52
I think for us, it’s just it’s a constant reminder that we’re really on the same team. Right. So again, I work in college athletics. So, so I think the the mindset constantly is, is pursuing the same mission or being on the same team and reminding each other Hey, on days, where one of us is off, or one of our boys is off, I’m still here with you, we’re still collaborating on this, we’re still tag teaming, we’re a unit, trying to just, you know, keep our family together and, and raising our boys together. So I think it’s just a constant reminder that, that we’re supporting each other because, you know, early early on when their sleep schedules were off, we were there’s times where literally just high fiving each other and we were taking turns to warm up milk or, or when a baby woke up and the other one was screaming, we’re you know, we’re two ships passing in the night to go into the different rooms to to piece them, but and so you constantly have to remind each other, that you’re that you’re this is, you know, what, what bond you had initially is still there. And there’s a reason why God for us has blessed us with these boys and their uniqueness and the you know, the individual hurdles that they may have, you know, we were blessed to have those boys. And there’s a reason why we’ve been we’ve been placed, you know, that they’ve been placed under our care. And so there’s a purpose for everything, even the chaos and, and so we’re really, really fortunate for that my, my in laws are also incredibly available, even though they live, you know, a couple 100 miles away. So they help us out and come spend weekends or, and when they’re here, they give us date nights and or they’re they’ll you know, I’ll get a text from my mother in law who’s incredibly generous with us about hey, go on your way home, pick up dinner, it’s on me tonight or, you know, just those little things that that, you know, in the absence of family members right next to you, that just reminds you that, Hey, everybody else is supporting you. Even in the chaos where you know, we’re praying for you. We’re thinking of you and we want to help out in every way we can. But it’s a you know, it’s a team sport. Parenting is especially parenting twins and, and so if you can have a constant reminder and the opportunity to take a step back and remind ourselves of why we’re doing this the way we are and why persistence and consistency matters with kids. It’s a really special experience for us.

Joe 34:18
That’s wonderful. Ian, as we wrap up today, if listeners want to connect with you, what’s the best way to reach out?

Ian 34:25
Feel free to find me on Twitter and that’s @IanESadler I’m on Twitter. I probably tweet a little too much. But it’s occasionally my escape and my ability to be creative as much as possible. And it’s it’s a great place to follow you as well and stay in touch with other twin parents that are going through the same experience that we are but yeah, find me on Twitter.

Joe 34:51
Perfect. Yeah. And I’ll link up to that in the show notes for this episode. And thank you so much for sharing your story today. We really appreciate it.

Ian 34:57
Absolutely. My pleasure Joe, I appreciate you.

Joe 35:00
I hope you enjoyed that chat with Ian about his adventures as a father of twins. If you want to connect with Ian I’ve linked up his contact information in the show notes for this episode over at twindadpodcast.com where you can also listen to all previous podcast episodes. If you would like to share your story like Ian did today, I would love to hear from you. You can reach out to me via email [email protected] or reach me on instagram or twitter @twindadjoe. I’m also over at facebook.com/dadsguidetotwins. Today’s show is brought to you by twintshirtcompany.com. We’ll find unique t shirts designed specifically for us parents of twins. You can see all the shirts at twintshirtcompany.com thank you so much for listening and I’ll see you next time.

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Further Reading

Dad's Guide to Raising Twins book
Don't forget to pick up a copy of the definitive guide to raising twins. "Dad's Guide to Raising Twins" was written for fathers of twins to help guide you through the first several years with twins. Click here to learn more about the book and get your copy.

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