Parental Teamwork to Raise Twins with Adam Oxley – Podcast 260

Joe Rawlinson by Joe Rawlinson - March 3, 2022

Episode 260 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes

Today we continue our father of twins interview series with Adam Oxley, father of twin boys. Listen as we explore his twin parenting journey, including:

  • Finding out about twins after wife since pandemic wouldn’t let dad attend scan
  • Not being able to support wife during doctor visits
  • One twin growing faster than the other needed care for a few weeks
  • Delivered via c-section after waiting 48 hours for their turn
  • Boys came home 3 days after delivery
  • Breastfeeding proved difficult and moved to bottle feeding
  • Having similar identical twins – how to tell them apart
  • Challenges with feeding twins
  • Deciding to let Mom take career break
  • Daily schedule for 15 month old twins
  • Working as a team with your partner in raising the twins

Connect with Adam on Twitter.

Podcast Transcript

This is auto-generated so please forgive any mistakes.

Joe 0:00
Today we’re chatting with the father of twins from the UK, who shares his twin journey so far as a father of identical twin boys, including waiting over 48 hours for their turn to have their boys delivered some of the challenges they had with feeding the babies how they overcame those and deciding which parent should stay home to care for the twins. That in so much more today on the show.

Intro 0:20
Welcome to the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast, the podcast that will help you survive and thrive as a father of twins Now, here’s your host, the author of the book, the Dad’s Guide to Twins, Joe Rawlinson.

Joe 0:34
Hey everybody. Welcome to the 260th episode of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast. This is Joe Rawlinson. You can find me on the web at dadsguidetotwins.com, where you can listen to all previous podcast episodes. In fact, if you have listened to a whole bunch of past episodes, I would love to hear from you. You can reach out to me on Instagram or Twitter @twindadjoe, and tell me all about it. Today we are continuing our father of twins interview series. But before we jump into that, I want to let you know that today’s show is brought to you by my second book for dads. It’s called “Dad’s Guide to Raising Twins: How to Thrive as a Father of Twins”. This book really guide you through logistics, and the practical tips and tricks you need for the first couple years raising your twins. You can get a copy of this book for yourself at raisingtwinsbook.com. Today, I’d like to welcome to the show father of twins Adam Oxley. Welcome to the show, Adam.

4 Critical Mistakes Expectant Twin Parents Make

Adam 1:21
Thanks for having me.

Joe 1:23
Adam, how old are your twins right now? And what’s something exciting about this age?

Adam 1:26
Oh, they are 15 months old right now. And and this age, everything is becoming exciting. There’s lots of mobility, there’s lots of kind of babbling and little bits of you know, words that are starting to form. And essentially, they’re turning into little people right now, which is for me. Exciting, you know, they’re starting to do little bits and pieces for themselves instead of us being the human for them. And obviously that will that gap will grow over the next what 17 years or what have you. But this this feels right now a real big development phase. And it’s yeah, really exciting to see.

(RELATED: Still looking for the right twin gear? See my Twin Baby Gear Essentials.)

Joe 2:17
Fantastic. Now do you have identical boys? Is that right?

Adam 2:19
Yes, have identical boys due to the way they they grew together, there’s enough difference for me and my wife, Gemma to, to see. And I think once people get to know the boys, they can see facially there’s little bits of difference. But you know, when you meet them for the first time, they, they they do look identical. And there’s lots of similar features. But I think that’s nice. I come around to that idea that I quite quite like having twins now. But certainly in the early stages. Yeah, boy, was it hard to tell them apart?

Joe 2:55
So what did you do in those early months? Were there any tricks you use to tell them apart?

Adam 3:00
We heard loads of different stories, you know, like, there are people that painted nails on on toes and stuff like that for us, we we kind of color coded it. So Joe, I’ve my boys are called Edward and Joseph. So I didn’t go. And Joe tended to wear blue, whereas Edward were the other color. If they both got blue, then you know, Joe would have a darker shade of blue. And the good. The good thing in a way for us in those first few months was the ad was a little bit bigger and heavier than Joe. And visually, once you lay them next to each other one was visually Ed was visually bigger than Joe. So clearly, when they were on the road, it was quite difficult at times, but you laid them next to each other and at least we could go right. Okay, that’s definitely add. And that’s definitely Joe. But that, you know, was one of the fears going into being a twin dad, and a twin parent that you would struggle to kind of recognize and work out which twins who and thankfully now it’s rare, but still one occasionally one gets called the wrong name and the you feel terrible about it. But I suppose that’s just part of being a multiple parent.

Twin Gender Predictor Calculator

Joe 4:21
That’s true. Yeah, we have identical girls. And I still mix them up occasionally, especially when they’re across the room. And maybe they have their back to me. But you know by now they’re used to it. And they just say no, I’m the other one and we go on with their lives. So let’s rewind the clock back to when you found out that you would be having twins. What was your family situation like at that time?

Adam 4:42
So me and my wife Gemma had decided we would wait a little bit so I’m now oh, let me get this right. 37 So I was 36 when the boys were born. We been married a few years now. We’ve been married seven years. And we wanted to wait a little bit longer to have kids so that we could just enjoy our time together a bit more. So once we kind of made the decision, and thankfully, we managed to get pregnant quite quickly, which was a benefit, because as I found out doing radio feature backing with the BBC that I do, you know, there are lots of dads out there that and families that don’t get pregnant very quickly. So we were very lucky from that perspective. And at that point, we were both working. And we obviously found out initially, we didn’t know that we were going to have twins. And we we found out that we were having twins just pretty much just as the COVID 19 pandemic had started. So yeah, it was a worrying time. And a real shock. I think a lot of probably twin parents and multiple parents would say the same thing that we never thought that about the potential and the possibility of having twins. It never, ever crossed our minds before. Those first scans show that there were two. And the difficulty with that moment was that because of the pandemic, my wife had to go to the scan on her own. So she found out the news on her own. I was at work, I didn’t know she waited until she got when she went in till I got home to tell me, because I’ve not had a text or a call, I kind of figured something was different or not right. And then when I got home, she just turned around with the two scans and said, there’s two of them. And we just sat there for an hour or so. And just started to digest the news. But yeah, it was. I’m very glad now I’m a twin parent. At the time, though. It was like, Oh, my God, what are we going to do?

Joe 7:07
Yeah, my wife actually found out before me too. So similar to you. I mean, this was back before COVID. But she had gone to the appointment by herself found out the news. And then I found out afterwards and I was in similar shock to you. What are we going to do about this? But we figured it out? As as we all do as fathers are twins, how did the pregnancy go for mom, are there any complications?

Adam 7:26
There were a couple early on. And you know, one was growing at a faster rate than the other. So there was a little bit of time where Gemma was looked at by a specialist unit, we’ve got a very respected Children’s Hospital in Sheffield in England where I am, but she was only under that care for three or four weeks. And in a way the pregnancy was as reasonably smooth as kind of twin pregnancies and multiple pregnancies can be. And she nearly went full term with them. Again, it was just a few days premature, but not too much to worry about. And thankfully, it wasn’t too bad. Obviously, the weird thing for us is that it was spent largely in lockdown. And you know, all the kind of normal things that parents may do or may want to do. And we kind of had to just stay at home and not see people and you know, I didn’t hug and see my mom and my sister for a long time. And it was just a bit weird, you know, is nice in a way. So we’ve got to spend a lot of time together. When the kids arrived, it was nice, because I probably spent more time with the boys early on in their lives than I would have done if the pandemic wasn’t here. So, you know, there were difficulties to it, the hardest bits were not being able to support my wife at the scans, essentially not been able to go to her into the hospital appointments and the doctor’s appointments. And I only got to do that. Two days before they were born was the first time that I went into a hospital with my wife, which was that was the hardest bit that was like not being able to support her not being able to go into that room with my wife and her having to experience all that deal with the news herself. And then having the pressure of giving me the news afterwards. Yeah, that that was that that was the toughest bit of the pregnancy. Really.

(RELATED: Don't reinvent the twin parenting wheel. Get my 7 Things Every Dad of Twins Needs to Know.)

Joe 9:30
That is tough. All the way up to the last couple days of the pregnancy.

Adam 9:33
Literally they they were born on the Saturday and it was the Thursday, kind of evening that I was allowed into the hospital for the first time. And then thankfully, they relaxed the rules a little bit while he gave us a little bit of extra flexibility for me to stay a little bit longer. And then I think on the Saturday we were waiting for a slot because she had a cesarean so we were waiting For a slot essentially, and we thought it wasn’t going to happen on the Saturday and right at the last minute, at about eight o’clock at night, we got the knob that they got room in surgery to start. And so literally within within an hour of being told that they got a slot, we got our two children. So yeah, recalling it now. It’s, it’s an incredible time and an experience that you know, you’ll never forget. And we you know, we’re just lucky that at the end of it all, even though I had to leave after about an hour and 20 minutes from the hospital to go home, and leave my wife and my new my two newborn sons in the hospital after only an hour or so. And they were healthy. And it worked out in the end. But yeah, emotionally and at the time. Very difficult with the circumstances. Yeah.

Joe 10:57
So you mentioned you have to wait for a slot, did you know that that was the day that you’re going to have the boys or?

4 Critical Mistakes Expectant Twin Parents Make

Adam 11:03
Yeah, we we essentially, there were two days later than the day when we were initially booked in. So we were booked in for a cesarean appoint appointment. So we got a notification on the day that essentially, they hadn’t got the ability or the staff or the there were more urgent cases, emergency cases that needed to be dealt with first. So we essentially then spent the best part of 48 hours waiting by a phone at home. And then partly, we I went into hospital, and then I came away, and we didn’t quite know at what point we’d be able to go into surgery for for it to happen. So all the time you you’ve built yourself up for this day to to for that to be the day when the boys arrive. And it was about 48 hours later, which we didn’t mind at the end because the date they were born was the 10th 10th day of the 10th month of 2020, which is a wonderful, wonderful dates. So when it kind of went on a bit, we were hoping it would go through to the 10. And it did but yeah, as a 48 hours just knowing that you’ve got this big moment coming up. So obviously, we’re not waiting for Gemma to go into labor. We’re essentially just waiting to be told yes, we can take you down to surgery now was Yeah, unusual. You know, the vast majority of parents, that’s not how their children will come into the world. So yeah, it was an unusual experience. But by the end of the day, the boys were were delivered healthily. And we were able to get them home. Three days later,

Joe 12:50
how was your wife’s recovery from the C section?

Adam 12:53
Okay, I think it clearly took a lot out of her clearly, you know, there’s it’s still sore and itchy in parts and stuff like that. But it just meant that she rested. And I tried to do as much as I could, and still tried to do that. And so, you know, multiple bottle washing and salt in the bottles and doing all those kinds of things. And times two, as a set of notes listening to this will that will well now, or three or four or however multiple kids you’ve got? And the overall Yeah, I mean, she she’s recovered pretty well. Pretty well. But yeah, usual case of first couple of months. Just had to take it really steady.

Joe 13:41
So what worked for you in those early days you mentioned bottle feeding was was a formula was a breast milk what was working for you and the boys,

Adam 13:48
we’d kind of well i i said to Gemma right at the start that I would support whatever she wanted to do. So I think with with what we’d read up about twins, and how logistically difficult it can be to breastfeed. And we know the benefits of, you know, some of the benefits of breastfeeding. But I think it was a hope that Jennifer be able to breastfeed for the first few weeks and do a little bit it proved difficult. And essentially, we we were quite content that bottle feeding was what we were going to do. So essentially, as soon as they got home, that meant that I could be involved all the time, which for me was was great. You know, we could share feeding, and it wasn’t just reliant on on Gemma. And the difficulty then is just the the admin that goes with bottle feeding. The fact that you’ve got so many bottles and it’s relentless, and in those early stages, it’s every few hours and has to be sterilized and all that kind of stuff so that I think like logistically was the biggest challenge at first. And we had one day where we were advised because they weren’t putting on as much weight as they needed to at one point, to try and feed them more regularly. And so we were advised to try and feed them every two hours, rather than three. And we spent 24 hours doing them every two hours. And it was the hardest day I think we’ve ever had. And we said after that, this just isn’t practical. It’s not worth it. Three hours was hard enough. That that so we kind of just went, look, we’ve tried it. We’ll keep going on the three but we were just shells. We weren’t we weren’t operating as human beings, right, then it was, yeah. So

(RELATED: Check out the Dad's Guide to Twins Youtube channel for additional helpful twin tips and tricks videos.)

Joe 15:49
it’s really, really hard when you’re up every couple of hours. Because like you said, when you’re feeding them every two hours, it’s not like you get two hours of sleep even between those because they take longer to eat, and then you get back to bed. And it’s a mess. So was it just you and your and your wife taking care of the twins Did you have any other family able to help with during that time?

Adam 16:07
in the UK, you’re able to kind of have a support bubble with one other household. So I mean, we, my mum and my sister were in the one house, and Gemma’s mom was in another, my dad sadly passed away a year before the twins were born, which was one of the hardest parts of this entire process, if not the hardest part. But we kind of made the decision that because both mums weren’t seen anybody else apart from walls, that we kind of bend the rules a little bit and they would be both in our bubble. So they were able to see, you know, help out little bits do shopping and other things. But generally, it was just me and my wife who were looking after them, and they didn’t get obviously didn’t get to see you know that first month or two months normally, where it’s just a conveyor belt of people who want to see them and want to visit that just didn’t happen. It wasn’t possible for us. So yeah, we got to spend a lot of time with them. And it was pretty much those two that were, you know, 24/7. And I was able to take a month off work at the start. And then when I went back to work after after the month, and Gemma’s still off work now, we decided that she’d take a career break and just make do with less bit less money around the household, but that she’d be able to look after the kids. And we’ll we’ll hopefully as long as financially, we’re able to keep that going as long as we can.

Joe 17:43
So it was a month off of work is that is a typical in the UK?

Adam 17:46
you get two weeks, normally, you get two weeks, and the extra was sort of holiday and leave that I’d got from work. So I decided early on that I wanted a month. And the fact that they this is Erin was delayed a few days ate into that a little bit. But because I got various bits of leave and other things and I just kind of use them going forward. And my my jobs are a sports commentator, a soccer commentator, as you guys would would probably say. And that means that, you know, some nights I’m working late, and I’m covering games around the country, which meant that, you know, I was able to be around, say in the mornings a bit more, or there was a day in the week where I was able to see the boys and help out if I’m working at the weekend. So kind of you just get into a rhythm, don’t you just you know, you just see how life settles down. And certainly going to work and leaving Gemma with these two, one month old little people was was tough again, that was a tough moment because you just want to be there and just want to be helpful. But the way she’s adapted to it and dealt with it and been able to look after these two, two little boys for the last 15 months. A lot of the time on her own. I am well, just in awe just just absolutely in awe of what she’s done.

Twin Gender Predictor Calculator

Joe 19:17
That’s wonderful that she could stay home with the boys. And did you know that you wanted her to be home? Like during the pregnancy? You talked about that? Or was it after they were born? You realized that that’s the arrangement you wanted to have?

Adam 19:27
No, I think we talked about it for a while in that we knew that, um, on my wage that we’d be okay for a little you know, for a couple of years we’d saved up over the years to be able to support that. So the intention was always that Gemma would take some time off work. So we managed to agree with with her work that she would take a career break so she’s got like this five year arrangement with them. So there’s a job still there. In what form that will be when and if she goes back, we’ll we’ll see. But that gives you a little bit of security. But Gemma was really keen to bring up the children essentially and not not leave it to somebody else and wasn’t you know, has never been desperate Lee, enthusiastic about work, you know works are a necessity it’s it’s what helps and pays the bills. And the longer like I said earlier, the longer we’re able as a family for because I love my job and I get to do you know, it’s a dream job that I do. And if I can do my dream job, which is at the same time, enabling us as a family to do what we want to do, then we’ll try and do that. But yeah, you know, it’s meant money is tighter now. And we do have to think about it a lot more. And at the minute, there’s probably a little bit more going out than there is coming in. But we’ll see how the next few years develops. And the idea, at least, is to try and keep Gemma off work until the boys go to nursery when they’re kind of two, well, three, three years old, something like that. And then it’s priceless time, isn’t it? It’s priceless time that you just don’t get back. And our intention was always to probably have to, we always thought that we’d have one and then another. A lot of multiple parents would probably say, and so we’re pretty 99.9 Slash 100% sure that this is it, you know, we’re, we’re happy with the two that we’ve got. And that means that we’re going to go through this one. So if you’re going to go through it once, then kind of want to make the most of it and enjoy it as much as you can.

Joe 21:42
Absolutely. What is the typical day in the life of your 15 month old boys like what time to they wake up, that’s a nap schedule, like feedings, things like that

Adam 21:51
at the minute where if we start with the go to bed, so at the minute, they kind of have their tea, their evening meal at about five, I’ll have a bit of milk, about six will gradually take them upstairs at about half six, and then me when I’m around. So obviously like for one or two nights a week, because I tend to I can be hosting a soccer phone in between six and seven of most nights of the week. So I’m doing that and Gemma is trying to get the two boys in bed. But when we’re both here, we’ll take them up, we’ll then do kind of get them changed and do some songs and stories. And gradually kind of seven to half past seven, they’ll go to sleep. I mean, Eddie tends to need a settle after half an hour or 45 minutes. And they’ve both had a bit of illness a bit of cold over the last month or so. So they’ve sounded really flemmy and you know, the snoring and stuff like that. So they need a little bit more reassurance. And the minute the last few nights that kind of got through to nearly midnight or around midnight, then woken up need a bit of reassurance and most nights at the minute they end up with us in a you know, in sleeping with us because we try and get them back down. They’ve got separate cribs. So we try and get them down to sleep. But a lot of the time they they need that kind of extra reassurance. So we end up with very little room in our own bed and they get the vast majority of the bed in our room and we get get up about kind of half, six, seven, half, seven, then they have some breakfast, you know a bit of milk, but at breakfast, I’ll be around for a few hours, then I’ll I’ll go to work and Gemma will try and take them out take them out for a walk. They’ve been to see some animals today when Susan cows up a farm because they’re really into into animals right now. And then we start again. So it’s routine wise, it’s there’s a routine there. We’re not. We’re not strict with it. But we see the benefits of a loose routine every day. But it’s not like this has to happen at this time. If it’s half an hour later or an hour later, then we try to be as flexible as we can. Are they still taking naps, they don’t like to nap. And they find it difficult to go. So they’re still we’ve kind of got two little rocking chairs where they’ve not though they’ve slept in and and they still like to go they still need like a rock to sleep. But essentially the minute we’re trying to get them to have a bit of a nap late morning, potentially another little nap mid afternoon, but they’re down to two and most days it’s one and a lot of the time they will fight it for a little bit but if they don’t go then you see the difference later on in the day and it throws everything else out. So Since that age old balance of they might not want it at times. But we know that if they have that now it will help them later on in the day. But do they? Do they want enough? Now? They’re very energetic. They’re very lively. They, you know, they’re bundles of energy. So yeah, it’s a challenge, particularly obviously, when I’m, I’m not hearing, if Gemma is trying to get them both to nap at the same time, and they don’t want to then yeah, it is a real challenge.

Joe 25:28
How long ago did they start walking?

Adam 25:31
Probably about two or three months now probably about just for the age of one. They they were up. And it’s a kind of case one of them does something, and then the other one will pick it up quite quickly afterwards. So I think it was Joe who started walking first, who was the is one minute younger, of the two of them. Who was the smaller one of the two. And so whether he’s got a little point to prove or not, that’s going to be an interesting little character trait to see throughout the years. We’ll see. But yeah, he started going to then they both did. So they crawled a bit. And then they’ve the motor and around now yeah, they, we’ve been for last week, we went for a first little walk as a family round to a local play area, which is about about half, half, half a mile. And so nearly a kilometer there and back. And they did brilliantly. And it was just as a parent that was just like one of the best moments to see, to see them like taking their first steps as Little People rarely was yeah, just incredible.

Joe 26:39
So you mentioned that your younger son started walking first, as always been the pattern with the milestones between the two boys is one always first.

Adam 26:49
No, not not necessarily, they’ve been pretty close together, on on most things. So if one goes, then within a few weeks, the other one will and the at least the picking stuff up with each other, I kind of thought at one point that you know want to do it, and then the other one would sit there and one day, we’ll just kind of stand up and go, I could do that as well. But it’s, I don’t know how you find it. But I just find it fascinating how they interact together, and how they, you know, will look at each other. And then they’ll be in their own little worlds. And at the minute kind of like they’ll they’ll they’ll run around the living room with a toy or a book or whatever. And sometimes they’ll just bump into each other as if they just completely forget the other ones there and no, not whatnot. And I think one of the key things I took from your books when reading them was that individuality. And that is something that we’re really conscious of, and that I think now is from this point on maybe maybe a little bit older that we that’s when it’s gonna be really keen to, you know, ensure that we are looking at them as individuals and looking at their own personalities and looking what they do differently. And just seeing how they develop, because it is easy for people to just go the twins, or the boys or what have you. And we’ve been Yeah, I think yeah, one of the messages I took from from you and from other multiple parents was, was that, you know, they they’re Edward and Joseph, they’re not the twins. So and that’s, that’s something that I’ll always carry with me really throughout this ridiculous journey that we’re now on.

Joe 28:37
Yeah, I love I love seeing those differences too, because to other people looking at my girls or other people looking at your boys, they look the same. And too often they get grouped together as the twins, but they have. They’re just totally different people. And so it’s so fun to watch those differences and how they interact with each other. Our girls like your boys like as soon as one of them figured something out, crawling walking, the other one would start to mimic that behavior and off to the races off to trouble. So how have you been able to keep your relationship with your wife strong through kind of ups and downs of two very active young boys in house?

Adam 29:14
That’s a great question. I mean, there’s there’s an interesting milestone coming up this week where we’re going out without the boys for the first time this Friday. And my mom and my sister are going to babysit. So at 15 months, they’ve done reasonably well to get to this point. So we’re both really interested to see how that goes and how we’ll feel about it. And we’ve we’ve always been we’ve always got on really well we’ve got a lot of similar likes. You know, we communicate pretty well we help each other pretty well. Well, very well. Really. But I think Just recognizing when the other one is struggling, or what have you, and just trying not to get too frustrated, you know, we, we know that the, you know, the boy is Edward and Josie, they don’t mean stop, you know, they’re just figuring stuff out. And it’s just so easy when, you know, you might have work pressure, or you might have tried something for several times, or you’re tired to, to get that little bit frustrated. And some days, you know, I might be finding work quite tough, or there might be something pressured in there and an agenda to pick me up, or there might be some days where there’s some element of their development that, you know, is is frustrating Gemma, and she’s, she’s kind of got a network of remote, multiple twin moms that she’s in touch with, you know, we never got to do the classes or the groups because of the pandemic. But she’s got this little network via WhatsApp, where I think for her, that’s a real good network. So, you know, there’d be loads of stuff that she could try and talk to me about, but would I be able to offer the right advice? Probably not. But I think it’s just just trying to help each other, you know, and communicate with each other. And support each other. And, and figure it out together. And just always try and remember that we’re in this together. And we’ve, we’re at the very start of the journey. And just to occasionally, we’ve got grumpy with each other. We never really argue we just kind of go quiet. And that’s when you know that there’s that something’s going on. But yeah, overall, it’s as a little family unit. It’s, it’s wonderful. Meanwhile, one of my pet hates for any parent is just people who, who moan about the kids and their life and everything all the time. You know, they’re not sleeping, or they’re not eating, or they’re doing this they know what kind of what did you expect? You know, it’s quite widely advertised what what’s going to happen when you have little people that don’t know what they’re doing? So I think we take quite a practical look on it all and don’t get annoyed that they can’t do something or that they’re taking time. Does that mean you don’t get frustrated? And you don’t get a little upset at times? Or you don’t feel that you’re doing the right thing? Of course it doesn’t for I think just trying to keep that perspective that you are there. They’re human, for a number of years, you are making their rational decisions, and you are doing the thinking for them. Yeah, you’ve got a strong base. And it’s, you know, I’m very lucky to have a very supportive wife and be a great, great relationship. And, and thankfully, we’ve got each other, which is not always the case of people.

Twin Gender Predictor Calculator

Joe 32:54
Sounds like a great team. Great arrangement. Okay, well, since you’re a football commentator of all the positions on the football field, which do you play the most as a father of twins?

Adam 33:03
I’d have to be the support, you know, I’d probably have to be the defense really, I mean, Gemma’s on on the attack, she’s the she’s the one that’s that straight in there that’s kind of done more reading and is as really clued into the boys development and really aware of kind of the leaps that they’re going through and the development phases, we never see anything as kind of a regression or a backward step, because they’re always taking forward steps. And, you know, it’s obviously just different phases and different bits of development and different things that are going through physically and mentally. But yeah, she’s, she would definitely be the one that’s on the attack. And, and I’d be kind of the support guy in the background that’s just occasionally ready to pick up that bottle or to help with the other child or to support meal time. And yeah, I don’t mind that. I mean, you know, there’s some, a lot of the time I do, there’s that feeling of guilt. I think any any parent that goes to work while their partner remains at home with the kids, there’s that, you know, feeling of, I shouldn’t be at home helping or I should be supporting or what are the you know, how, how are they managing it? I wish I was there. All those kind of feelings come into it. And that, I think, from the point I went back to work has been one of the hardest bits. But team wise, I think we’ve got most positions covered. I think we’ve got most positions covered and thankfully when the boys were came into the world, you didn’t need a goalie. You didn’t need a goalkeeper to catch anything. You know, somebody was there to do that, thankfully.

Joe 34:43
Fantastic. That’s great. So Adam, as we wrap up today, if listeners want to connect with you, what’s the best way to reach out?

Adam 34:49
As I mentioned, I work for BBC Radio Sheffield in, in the UK, and I’m part of a series that we’ve done called The Yorkshire dads club Yorkshire is the county where I live. So if people kind of Google that online, then you’ll be able to listen to some of the episodes we’ve spent. The last year essentially me and two other new dads at work, meeting other new dads and we did a twin episode a multiple episode as well, including a father of quads, who lives locally, which is incredible. So that’s definitely something to go and check out. It’s a really useful stuff in terms of parenting and stories and, and different topics if people want to contact me directly. I’m on Twitter and Instagram at Adam, and the number three then Oxley, which is Oh, X, le y, and happy to connect to any other multiple parents or answer any questions or do whatever, because there’s never, never enough support in the world when you’re trying to bring your multiple children.

Joe 35:51
Well, thank you. And we’ll link up to that contact information in the show notes for the episode today. Again, I want to thank you for taking time and sharing your story with us. We really appreciate it.

Adam 35:59
Pleasure, absolute pleasure. Thank you very much.

Joe 36:02
Hope you enjoy that chat with Adam about his adventures as a father of twins and some of the things that he’s learned along the way. If you want to connect with Adam, I’ll link up to his contact information over at dadsguidetotwins.com. Just look for this podcast episode. Today’s show is brought to you by my second book for dads called “Dad’s Guide to Raising Twins: How to Thrive as a Father of Twins“. You can pick up a copy for yourself at raisingtwinsbook.com And if you’ve already read this book and enjoyed it, I would love to hear from you. You can reach out to me on Instagram or Twitter @twindadjoe or drop me an email [email protected] and I would love to chat. If you found this podcast helpful, please share it with another twin parent that you may know and give it a rating and review on your podcast player of choice. Thank you so much for listening and have a wonderful day.

Subscribe to the Podcast

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

Share Your Thoughts

Please let me know what you think of this episode of the podcast, you can contact me with any questions or comments or leave a comment on the blog.

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help other parents of twins find the show!

Download the Podcast

Download the podcast in .mp3 format (right click and “save as…”)

Further Reading

Dad's Guide to Raising Twins book
Don't forget to pick up a copy of the definitive guide to raising twins. "Dad's Guide to Raising Twins" was written for fathers of twins to help guide you through the first several years with twins. Click here to learn more about the book and get your copy.

Leave a Comment