Creating Memories with Your Twins, Toilet Training Twins, and more with Derek Craddock – Podcast 265

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Episode 265 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes

Today we continue our father of twins interview series with Derek Craddock, father of boy/girl twins. Listen as we explore his twin parenting journey, including:

• After having trouble conceiving twins, they had success with medical assistance
• Birth via scheduled c-section at 37 weeks
• Dad’s experience during delivery
• No NICU time but something wrong with Mom after a few days
• Wife had postpartum pre-eclampsia and back in hospital for 5 days
• Had to monitor heart and see cardiologist
• Dad helped care for babies while in hospital
• Having mother-in-law stay with them for two months after birth
• Challenges of having twins sleep in parents’ room
• Twins shared room until age two
• Toilet training ongoing with twins
• Helping with language development at 3 years old
• Finding childcare for the twins, first a nanny and then small daycare for about a year
• Transition to having mom stay home with the kids
• Moving with young children
• Making time for memories with children

Connect with Derek on Facebook

Podcast Transcript

This is auto-generated so please forgive any mistakes.

00:00 Today we have a great chat with another father of twins and discuss among other things. Making sure you make time for creating memories with your children. Overcoming the challenges of potty training toddler twins. When he surprised health scare sends mom back to the hospital shortly after. And much more today on the show.

00:21 Welcome to the Dad’s Guide to Twins podcast. The podcast that’ll help you survive and thrive as a father of twins. Now here’s your host, the author of the book, the Dad’s Guide to Twins, Joe Rawlinson.

00:37 Hello everybody. And welcome to the 265th episode of the Dad’s Guide to Twins podcast. This is Joe Rawlinson.

00:43 You can find me on the web at dadsguidetotwins.com or you can listen to all previous podcast episodes. Today. We are continuing our father of twins interview series with the father of boy, girl twins. But before we jump into the interview, I want to let you know that if you are expecting twins, you should get a free audio book version of my Dad’s Guide to Twins book.

01:02 Through a partnership I’ve made with audible, you can keep that free copy at freetwinbook.com. Once again, that’s free twin book.com today. I’d like to welcome to the show father of twins, Derek Craddock. Welcome to the show, Derek. Thanks, Joe. Glad to be here, Derek. How old are your twins right now? And what is something exciting about this age?

01:20 There’s three and I think one of the things that’s exciting about this age is how quickly they’re learning. Quickly there, their language is evolving. It seems like every day they’ve got a new word or a new sentence, or just a new like skill or attribute that they’re, they’re learning. It, it blows us away how quickly that they’re adapting to the things around them.

01:46 Now, do you have identical twins, boy, girl twins.

01:50 They are boy, girl twins.

01:51 And you mentioned language learning development. Is there something that you’re doing to help foster that in the home? Yeah, I mean, aside from, you know, nightly you know, reading times, you know, story times, we make an effort to you know, to have them, you know, involved in you know, even like decision-making things or you know, just making sure that we’re communicating with them and that we’re giving them the chance.

02:16 You know, to use like words and sentences. You know, I think one thing is, you know, if we’re ever reading a story or wherever asking them to pick up something, whether it’s a toy or, you know, one of their favorite foods is a, is a bananas. We’ll often ask them things like, you know, what color is this?

02:35 Or, you know, what, what, you know, what is this, what does this look like? Or, you know, so that way they’re, they’re identifying it and that they’re able to put away. To what they’re seeing. So it’s, I think it’s really, really cool that they’ve been learning that. And I liked the fact that it, it also helps us to become more involved in and their development you know, growing up.

02:56 So it was really fascinating to see. I love that asking them open-ended questions. You know, kids are often a lot smarter than we give them credit for, even from a very early age, as you’re seeing, which is awesome. Are your twins, your only children? They are. Yes. So let’s go back to, when you found out that you would be having twins, what was your situation like at that time?

03:17 And what was your reaction? Yeah, so for us we, we had trouble having kids for a good couple of years. You know, we had tried and and it just, it just wasn’t working, you know, naturally for us. And it was, it was discouraging, you know, at first, especially because we had a lot of our friends and, you know, people in our church.

03:38 Who were, it just seemed to be having like a kid every month. It was it was encouraging for them, but discouraging for us. Cause we, so we so badly wanted to have, you know, wanted to have our, our own children. So after, you know, after trying for a couple of years and realizing that it just wasn’t working, you know, we made the choice to, you know, to seek, to seek medical help, you know, to kind of figure out what was going on.

04:02 We went through some. And you know, found some of the issues at play and then had options for you know, what to do you know, to help us conceive and eventually went through you know, an artificial insemination process. So that took about a good, like almost a year to go through the testing and then get that get that stuff.

04:24 You know, thankfully it worked on the first on the first try, you know, we, you know, we, we heard stories that, you know, some couples have to, you know, try like two or three times or more, you know, just to get it. Thankfully we were successful on, on the very first try. And so, you know, when we w we suspected that there might be more than one in there because my wife was getting some morning sickness already after just a few weeks and they were checking hormone levels and, you know, they were kind of almost going through the roof.

04:58 So that prompted a an early visit to ultrasound. To a technician. And that’s where we discovered that that we had twins. And I get asked the question a lot. Like, were you shocked? Like, were you just absolutely flabbergasted and both of us, when we saw the ultrasound and saw that there were two babies in there and we looked at each other and said yeah, of course there is you know, we knew that going through the treatment, that there was going to be a higher chance of getting multiple.

05:25 But as well, twins actually run very heavily on both sides of our family on my wife has an identical twin and there was another twin pregnancy in her family. And I have cousins who are twins and there was one of my, one of my uncles in it was, you know, was a twin. Unfortunately the other one didn’t make it after birth.

05:47 But yeah, like I said, History of of twins in the family. And then we had the treatments that just helped us. So, you know, yeah. We saw that they were twins. Bat an eye. When I talked to other parents similar to yourself where they had some medical assistance getting pregnant, there’s always a possibility that’s going to be twins.

06:08 And so it’s not quite a total out of nowhere. Surprise, like you’re saying. So, given that you, you got the news that you would be having twins, how did the pregnancy progress from there? I mean, thankfully, you know, the pregnancy overall you know, went, went very well. There was no. There were no real complications or anything like that.

06:29 I know it was I know it was pretty trying on my wife you know, having to, to carry you know, two little people for many, many, many, many months. You know, I know that she had, you know, she had to, you know, she, she had dealt with some, you know, back pain and stuff, but I mean, overall, you know, it’s You know?

06:47 Yeah. Like I said, we didn’t really have any you know, have any complications with the pregnancy. We, we regularly checked up with you know, with her doctor and you know, with ultrasound and by the time they hit 37 weeks, we actually had a scheduled C-section date. That as soon as it hit 37 weeks, if they were not out, you know, we would, we would bring them out and they they made it right to that.

07:13 On the, on 37 weeks, so, well, it’s fantastic that things went smoothly with the pregnancy and then the delivery went as planned. What do you remember some of the highlights of the birth there in the operating room? I remember that it it seemed to take forever because they had to wait or sorry.

07:33 We had to wait to to get into the operating room, you know, they had. They were, unfortunately short-staffed at the hospital. So when, when we arrived, you know, we still had to wait a little bit before they could get the operating room ready. And then they had her in first and I had to wait to, I had to wait outside you know, and I’m all in my in my painter suits and I’m just, I’m, I’m waiting for them to give me the all clear because you know, they had to set her up and everything like that.

08:02 And it just, it just, it just seemed to take like a long time, which was, which is weird when you think about it, because you know, the pregnancy, as long as, you know, maybe it’s the seemed for my wife, it flew by for me. But then when you’re waiting in that operating room, or just before you go to the operating room, it seemed to, it seemed to take forever.

08:20 But you know, thankfully, you know, they had the staff in and, you know, they got my wife all prepared. You know, I went in and it was just a matter of waiting, waiting to hear the first the first cry. And I mean, I can’t, I can’t really describe it. And I imagine every dad has that response.

08:38 You can’t describe what it feels like when you hear the. No baby cry. There’s just that moment of like, oh my goodness. Like, is that, is that ours? And I think, I think I remember my wife looking at me as she’s lying on the operating table and, and like looks at me when our son, you know, was the first one to come out.

08:58 And, you know, she looked at me and said like, is that, is that, is that our baby? Like, just that, you know, that astonishment, like, is that our baby? And I said, yes, that’s, you know, that’s our, that’s our that’s our little boy. And then the. Not long after, you know, our our, our girl followed. And just like that, both of them, you know, we’re, we’re, we’re in our arms, you know, they’re there, we were like, we were, we were, we were parents.

09:24 And again, it’s, it’s hard to put into hard to put into words. You know, but just in that moment, you know, all of a sudden, like what you worked so hard to achieve, you know, all go all those years and through all those treatments, It just, it was, it was there and there’s, you know, there’s just nothing more that you can do, but just like, you know, look in amazement and just be just overwhelmed you know, with a joy and a lot of other emotions that came on that time going into the delivery.

09:55 Did you know that your son would be born first? Yes. And that was one of the things with the the number of ultrasounds that we had to take. I think like we were, I think we had to take. Almost every other week at that time, because, you know, they were, they were moving around. There was a time when, you know, when, when, when, when he was breached and then a time, you know, when, when he wasn’t breached.

10:18 And I mean, that, that, that plays into the delivery as well. And that’s why they were keeping a close eye on it. So thankfully the last ultrasound that we had before the C-section You know, he was, you know, he was breached. So we knew he was going to be the first one coming up. How long was everyone in the hospital before you were able to come home?

10:36 So that’s where things kind of took a bit of a bit of a turn. I mentioned before that the pregnancy went through pretty smoothly. So initially we left the hospital after I think three days the kids did not go into into, into Nikki. Which doesn’t happen with every, you know, twin twin birth. So we were, we were grateful that they didn’t have to spend any time in NICU, but a few days after we came home my wife started noticing that something was a bit off and we went into the urgent care center in in our city.

11:09 And they kind of noticed that something was maybe a little off with, with her, with her heart rate. And so we ended up being readmitted to hospital and it turns out that she you know, she did have a about with postpartum preeclampsia. And so we actually had to stay in the hospital another, another five days.

11:31 So sorta recap yet we were in the hospital from the birth after, you know, for three days, got home. And I think it was four days later. Yeah, we had to go back in the hospital and we were there for about five days. They had to monitor you know, her hearts, you know, they had, they had to put her on different medications and eventually was seen by a cardiologist.

11:54 And you know, that, that, that made it very tough. I mean, thankfully I was still on go on, leave from work. They were able to give me a few more days off, you know, to, to be with the kids after they were. But it did make it very tough because here you have these, these kids that are not even a week old and you got to bring them back to the hospital and, you know, your wife is, is being treated, you know, almost, almost on a, on a, on a hourly basis, I’d say, or every couple of hours they had to monitor her.

12:24 And. Here I am the new dad and I’m in the hospital with her. I’m kind of sleeping on a chair and yeah, but I mean, thankfully everything worked out. Okay. And you know, she got over it. But it, it was, it was an adventure for sure. You know, the first you know, that first in a week, week and a half, however long, it was just being out of hospital, back into hospital.

12:47 Yeah, like I said, thankfully, everything kind of worked out. Yeah. You know, there was a bit of a time where, yeah, where I was kinda kind of worried and just didn’t know what to do. I have these little, little babies but then. Like I said, everything worked out great. And we had a lot of support from friends and family as well.

13:05 That helped us through that. That is a crazy turn of events. So mom was in the hospital and was getting all the medical care. So were you taking care of the babies the whole time? I don’t imagine they were getting the same care as they were right after birth. Yeah. Not not, not exactly the same care.

13:24 You’re right. Adam means you know, some of the treatments that she had to go through. Required, you know, her required her to not breastfeed for like 24 hours or 48 hours at one time. So yeah, I, I had to be there to help feed the kids had to be there to help, to help change them. You know, I was in the hospital room, you know, with her that, in those entire five days, like I only left to, you know, maybe grab something to eat a couple of times you know, during the day, but it was.

13:54 It was just out and in, you know, within a couple, within a couple of minutes, but yeah, during that time, you know, I was, I was changing them. I was making sure that they were making sure that they were fed making sure that they were closed, you know, swaddled, you know, all that kind of stuff. I really had to learn them, learn on the fly there you know, in the hospital.

14:15 And so it was challenging, but No. I learned a lot. I learned a lot from that, you know, kinda, you know, get your, get your crash course into the learning, how to care for these newborn twins, you know, right there in the hospital. So Simone comes through that health scare and then the whole family goes home.

14:32 Now you, by this time, are you running out of paternity leave or do you still have some time off for me? I only had a few days off. It was only about two and a half. And I could’ve, I could’ve taken longer, but you know, the way that the the way the maternity leave system goes, or, or I’m sorry, the fraternal you know, leave system, you know, goes in Canada is I mean, you can have, you know, 12 months or 18 months, but that is kind of like combined.

15:02 So whatever I took of a paternal leave would, you know, would have taken away from. You know, from her from her maternity leave. If that makes sense, you know, it’s not, it’s not a, it’s not a boat. That’s kind of a, you know, you’re taking it, you’re taking it together. So I only took about two and a half weeks, banked it as more vacation time.

15:25 So I was back at work not long after, after the hospital after the hospital stay. But we were grateful afterwards that my mother-in-law I was able to come down for two months, I think. And so that helped out and helped him a lot to help my wife on a loss. You know, while I was, while I was back at work.

15:45 So it was, so the two of them were able to care for the kids at that time. Yeah, that’s great. We had somebody come stay with us to either my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, we kind of rotated through a bunch of people and for a couple months, and that was a huge benefit because just like you, I went back to work after a couple of weeks, and that’s still a big challenge at home for mom to juggle the babies by herself.

16:07 So that’s good that she was able to get some help. So did she take that full year off or a year and a half? She did. Yeah. She took, she took a 12 months off. So when you think about those early a couple of months with twins or some of the big challenges that you had with them at that time? Well, one was the sleep, which I’m pretty sure every, every twin dad can can attest to you know, having to get up every couple of hours at first.

16:31 Yeah. Just to just knowing you’re not going to get a full night’s sleep. And there was a time when we had them in our. And so that really didn’t help with the whole like sleep aspect for sure. I think one of the other challenges that I had was really just getting used to having, you know, these, these little people in, in your home, you know, in your bedroom and, you know, they, you know, they have all these needs and you need to attend to them.

16:59 It really, really tested my patience. And I mean, I’m someone who, even the house still has to work it with patients. And you know, when you, when you’ve got kids in your bedroom and you know, they can’t seem to, to fall asleep or they can’t seem to stay asleep. And you can imagine this setup here, that in the bedroom, there’s, you know, our bed in the middle.

17:21 And then, you know, one kid on my wife, I don’t want to kill. On on, on my side here. And, you know, thankfully there wasn’t many days or many nights that both of them, you know, would wake up and fry it. Usually it was one or the other. But still it was something that definitely tested my patients to, to try to learn how to deal with, with the noise deal, with their needs.

17:45 Try to work out what, what exactly they needed and just being able to, you know, to fight through, you know, the drowsiness and. You know, the desire to want to sleep, you know, especially when I was back at work I worked, I worked early mornings at the time, so, you know, my alarm went off at four 30. So to me, it’s like, I wanted to get as much sleep as possible, but I had to, you know, I really had to surrender that that desire and that just realize that, Hey, you know, the kid’s gonna need me more than I need my sleep right now than it was.

18:17 I knew it was only temporary. So I’ll a lot of adjustments there. A lot of just getting used to. Having these people in your home is having to rearrange your schedule having to learn a lot of patience and just, and just really adapt to this, to this new life. How long were they in your room before you moved them to their own space?

18:38 I think it was only about a month if I remember correctly. So not, not, it’s not too long. It felt long. It felt longer. But yeah, I think it was only about, I think it was only. Then they were able to to move into to move into their room. Not right now. They don’t. Did they, did they did for, they did for the longest time.

18:57 Yes. We had it set up that they were in, they were in a one crib. It was kind of you know, manufactured to have both of them in there. And it wasn’t until they were thinking almost. That that they had their that they had their own rooms. And that was around the time that I got asked to work from home when the pandemic first hit.

19:18 And so it had to do a lot of rearranging in our house so that I could have an office, but that they could have their own, their own spaces at the same time. Or are they still in cribs at that time when you separated them? They were, and it was one of those. We had those cribs. I believe they’re from Ikea, the ones that can be just kind of rejigged to fit into a toddler bed.

19:43 But yes, at the time that we moved them into their own rooms they were, they were still in cribs, but we knew it was only a matter of time before the cribs had to become, you know, toddler beds. Cause you know, at that age kind of two years old around there, you know, they’re, they’re starting to find ways.

20:01 Crawl over and crawl over their crib there. Yeah. So who was the first to escape? The crib, your son or your daughter? I believe it was our son. Yeah. The girls figured that out about each too, like you’re describing, but because our girls shared a room, they could watch each other and then the other, her sister learned really quick how to get out.

20:20 So was there, was there kind of a time lag between when one of your twins figured out the escape and the other one? Not really. No. If there was, it was like a day. You know, that’s how our twins you know, that’s how our twins live. That’s how they work. One, one does something the other, you know, follows.

20:35 They kind of, for lack of a better term feed off each other. And I’d imagine that’s the same for, for a lot of twin dads out. There you go out there. Just one does it. The other one will follow suit very, very quickly. So now that they’re almost three, have you, have you gone through toilet training, potty training yet?

20:52 We are actually still going through that and I think that’s, that’s the most challenging thing right now. Is trying to get them through, you know, through toilet training. We have tried on a number, a number of occasions. I know we tried pretty early when they were about one and a half, I’d say. And it, it, it, it just didn’t work as well as we’d hoped.

21:15 It was obvious that they weren’t ready. So we waited a little bit and then we were going to try again last. But then I actually was was offered a new job and we, we moved and the fall, so a lot of the summer was spent packing and planning and getting our stuff over to, to our new place. But we are back back into potty training and you know, unfortunately it, it’s not as easy as the internet has made it made it out to believe for us.

21:45 You know, my wife did a lot of recent. And tried to find ways, you know, the best ways to potty train kids. And, you know, we saw everything from you know, the, the naked method, the three-day methods, you know, the one day methods, you know, you put, you know, make sure that you have a body in this room or, you know, have them, you know, where, you know, don’t wear their bottoms for half of the day, or like, like, like, you know, you name it.

22:13 There was a lot of stuff. And nothing just really seemed to click for us. At that time they’re still learning. And I think that just goes back to the whole teaching patients thing is, you know, to some parents and to some toddlers, you know, potty training is not going to happen, you know, very quickly.

22:32 They’re not exactly going to get it. We are making. Thank goodness. But there is still, you know, still a ways to go and, you know, we just, we, we have to have to teach ourselves or have to tell ourselves that you know, that they will, they will get it. There’s no magic age that they have to get it.

22:52 You know, every, every Todd was different. Every parent’s different, every method is different. But like I said, thankfully, they’re making. And we just hope the progress keeps going. Yeah. Every, every child is different that’s for sure. Even our identical girls, one of them had more success early on than the other with potty training.

23:16 And you have our four kids, you know, each of them took a slightly different route to finally master that skill. So it does definitely try the patients. But there is the light at the end of the tunnel because you look, you’re like, Hey, people don’t wear diapers to go off to college. It’s like, they figure this stuff out and my kids are gonna figure it out.

23:35 Eventually it just in the moment it can get quite frustrating. Like you’re like you’re saying for sure. Have you, you mentioned that mom went back to work after about a year and you were back to work. Did you have to find some kind of childcare situation or daycare for the kids we did. And you know, we, we had a couple of different.

23:52 childcare options at that time. W at first we had a part-time nanny that came in during the day. You know, when my, when my wife is at work and then when I, when I came home, usually in the afternoons you know, she would, she would be done. That was that one for about a few months because the nanny that we hired, she had.

24:15 had to move move overseas. Her husband was serving in serving in the U S army. And so she eventually had to move closer to be, you know, to be with him. But thankfully her mom you know, runs a a day home. And she just happened to have room at the time when when our. I was moving away.

24:37 So it was really a godsend there that, that, that was able to work out. And you know, as in the first year we had the day home Tuesday through Friday because my mom doesn’t work Mondays and she was willing to take the kids every Monday. So, but I mean, still, that was five days a week that we had, you know, people, them, or there’s people taking over.

25:02 And after that first year, my wife started to feel like it was getting to be a little, a little, much, a little, much to not see the kids. But also a little much you know, financially, because I mean, as, you know, as, as we all can relate to childcare costs are, are, are not cheap. I think we were paying more than our mortgage in that.

25:25 In, in the day home cost and the day home was, was, was a reasonable, a reasonable price. So after that first year, my wife was actually able to cut her hours back so that she could be home a little more with the kids. So we were still sending them to the day home a couple of days a week, and she was able to be with them.

25:48 You know, the rest of the rest of the time there. And that’s, that definitely took a weight weight off of us, not only financially, but I think also a weight off off of her so that she, she had a better balance of work work to, you know, childcare at that time. Right now, like I mentioned before, I recently changed jobs and we moved my job has allowed her to actually stay, stay home full time with the kids.

26:12 She’s a stay at home mom right now which is, which is tremendous, you know, it’s something that we, you know, that we had dreamed of. Not that she doesn’t, you know, like, you know, her job, it was hard for her to leave her job, but you know, she knew that she wanted to be there more for the kids and you know, they’re not, you know, the time, the time flies by quickly and, you know, before, you know what they’re going to be off in school.

26:37 You know, she’s going to wonder where was that time with my kid? So, you know, this also just puts her at ease, knowing that she is going to spend the time with the kids. She is going to have more time and energy to, you know, to invest in them on a, on a daily basis. But yeah, the all three years we’ve had, you know, the nanny we’ve had the day home, we’ve had my parents you know, watching.

27:00 From time to time and now she’s staying at home. Full-time, that’s wonderful. That’s that you can stay home with them. Let’s talk about the move. So moving with little kids is not easy. What were some things that made that transitional easier for them? And you’re still going to get all the logistics done of moving your stuff to new place.

27:16 Yeah, I mean, I think it’s it, it was a benefit to know that they were still too young to understand what was going on. I know that may sound like a weird, but. Yeah. I mean, you know, they, they, they couldn’t fully comprehend what was, what was going on. And, and I guess in a way that made it a little easier to transition, you know, cause you know, they weren’t going to leave behind, you know, their best friends from school or anything like that.

27:44 I mean, yeah, we were leaving behind her family cause you know, all of my family and most of my wife’s family are still back at the old place. And so yeah, there, you know, there was that. You know, what is that tough transition for us, but for them, yeah, they still, they still couldn’t quite understand what was going on.

28:02 All they knew was, Hey, we’re moving into a new house. And I mean, we, you know, we made, we made sure to, you know, to say it that way. And then that kind of like inflection, like, Hey, like we’re going to a new house, you know, we’re going to go to a new city and just try to make it, you know, you know, very exciting.

28:19 We instilled that like excitement in them, as much as it was hard for them. To move away from her family to move away from a lot of connections. You know, people that we loved and cared about, people that loved our kids, the woman who ran the day home she definitely shed the, quite a few tears on that on the last day that she had them.

28:40 Cause she just, she, she grew so attached to them and just really loved having them. Even though it was, it was hard for us and we could see it with. You know, we didn’t want to really pass that on or burden the kids in any way. So, you know, from the get-go it was all about like excitement, like, you know, Hey, like we’re going somewhere new where, you know, we’re going to, we’re going to be in a new place and, you know, we’re gonna, you know, it’s, it’s going to be very exciting.

29:10 And just having that attitude, you know, to the kids I know made it a little better, you know, for, for us. Because then we didn’t feel like we were just like taking them away from, you know, things that they loved. You know, we wanted them to be excited, like just like us. We wanted them to be excited about this new opportunity and this new place and everything like that.

29:31 The actual, the actual move itself obviously was, was was kind of tough because we had to pack everything in one day. We hired a moving company which helped them. But everything was packed in in one day. And then after our house was emptied, then the moving truck went and then we followed close behind in our, in our car.

29:55 We got this like four door Chevy sedan. It was the four of us, our two cats and, you know, whatever kind of little things that that that we packed with us. So the, the day, the day of moving and. Getting to the place and just having all four of us, just kind of like crunched in, and then the emotional weight of knowing that with, you know, that everything was just happening so quickly.

30:20 It was pretty tough, but it was, it was an adventure. I think, you know, one of those things that like you look back and it’s like, that was an adventure, you know, the memories that we’ll be able to share with the kids in the future, just saying, Hey, you know, when you guys were, you know, two and a bit years old, We pack the two of you and the cats and everything.

30:40 And we moved Devon seven hours away. The new place was seven hours away or a seven and a half, excuse me. We moved different everything, seven and a half hours away. And we want them to have the same excitement. It’s like, wow. That was really. We, we did that big, a big family adventure. Well, it sounds like you’re in a, in a good place now with, with work and home.

31:01 And is there, when you think about your twin parenting journey so far, is there something else about your experience with as being a father, father of twins that our listeners would benefit from hearing? You know, as I mentioned before, from the day that they were born or the moment that they were born, you know, there’s just that there is that like emotion that you really just can’t.

31:19 And I still have that some days I still have that, where I look around at our house and I see the toys I see, you know, their bed, their beds. I see, you know, just them running around and it’s like, oh my goodness. Like, like I’m a dad and oh my goodness, I’m a dad of two, you know, amazing, amazing kid. Like I’m a, I’m a, I’m a twin dad.

31:44 And you know that emotional. Again, it’s still something that I can’t describe, but I tried, like, I treasure it because I know there’s a lot of, there’s a lot of people that don’t have that luxury you know, people that aren’t able to be parents for whatever reason and, you know, holding on to just that, that joy, that you’re, you know, that you’re, that you’re a dad, you know, you’re a twin dad.

32:07 It’s just, it’s just really special. And, you know, I want to, I want to be able to hold on to that for. Very very long time, even after they’ve left, they’ve left the house. I think one other thing that I would, I would say is, you know, and, and I, I’m still trying to work at this in in my everyday is, you know, really just trying to find the, you know, the time to really just, you know, the time to be with me, with your kids to really cherish, you know, those opportunities.

32:37 ’cause you never, you never know what your kids are going to are going to love to do. You never know what they’re going to be. And so, you know, I, I try to, I try to give them, you know, a lot of those experiences, you know, I’m not, I’m not one for giving them a whole bunch of toys and stuff. I mean, not, you know, my parents will do that, you know, grab the grandparents, we’ll do that.

32:57 We’ll just give them all the toys and everything like that. For me, it’s like, I want to give them, you know, so many experiences. You know, in their life, I want to be able to take them places. And and I don’t just mean far away. Doesn’t have to be Disney you know, take them to parks, take them to ice cream shop, just take them places and just really enjoy getting to know your kids.

33:26 Cause they have such unique personalities. Even now at three years old, they have such unique personality. And you never know what they’re going to like what they’re going to hold on to, you know, who they’re going to be. And so those moments right now are, are just really important. You know, if you can find time in your schedule to carve out you know, days or afternoons nights to just spend one-on-one with these kids and just like introduce them to anything.

33:59 Yeah, like I said, that’s something that I’m, I’m wanting to do more of just carve out that time. And yeah, I hope that a lot of other dads listening, you know, just kinda know, you know, that you can, you know, that you can do that. It doesn’t have to be extraordinary. But it is something that I think is important.

34:14 Very well said very well said the cherishing, the moments you have with your kids and, and making time for those moments to actually happen is vitally important as fathers, Derek, as we wrap up today, if listeners want to connect with you, what’s the best way to get in touch. I am on on, on Facebook.

34:33 That’s where I’m, I’m very active. So you can, you can find me on Facebook. I do have a couple of different profiles. One is. Like my personal page. I also have a work-related page cause my job, my job is, is a news reporter. So I do a lot of I do a lot of sharing of you know, of stories through my Facebook page and everything.

34:52 So that is is really the best way, you know, to, you know, to get ahold of me. And I’m, I’m always, I’m always wanting to connect with the, you know, with people, you know, especially with twin dads, you know, I love meeting other. I love hearing their stories and even their, even their questions, you know, cause to relate to someone else in that way is pretty special.

35:16 Well, thank you. I’ll link up to that in the show notes for this episode again, Derek, thank you for taking time and sharing your story with us today. We really appreciate it. My pleasure, Joe. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that. Chat with Derek about his adventures as a father of boy, girl twins, and some of the things that he’s learned along.

35:31 If you would like to share your story like Derek did today on the show, I would love to hear from you. You can reach out to me on Instagram or Twitter @twindadjoe. I’m also on facebook.com/dadsguidetotwins, and you can always email me, [email protected] And I would love to hear from you.

35:48 Again, today’s show is brought to you by my first book. Dad’s Guide to Twins. And since I know you love podcasts, you’ll surely love an audio book as well. You can get a free audio book version of my Dad’s Guide to Twins book through audible by visiting freetwinbook.com. That book help you make it through the twin pregnancy and prepare for your twins arrival.

36:07 If you found this podcast helpful, please share it with another twin parent that you know, or someone that may be expecting twins. I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you next time.

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