I received this question from another dad of twins, “I was wondering, how do you spend your time with your twins? Do you make it a point to do certain activities with them separately? Or do you just do everything together?”
Most of the Time
Most of the time, our twin girls are together. And that’s perfectly okay. However, we do try to have time or activities when they are able to get individual attention from mom or from dad or both of us.
Set Aside One-on-One Time
For example, I’ve taken out each of our twin girls for daddy-daughter lunches before. They love the one-on-one time with their dad. I love this time too because the primary focus is that you get undivided attention with each of your twins. This is wonderful for having a conversation with them, for getting to know them better, and helping build a bond with each of your twins.
Sometimes when running errands, we’ll take one twin with us and leave the other twin at home with the other parent. However, our girls both like getting out of the house. So this often means that they want to stick together. So I may end up taking both girls with me to the home improvement store or the grocery store.
One way you can get around this with errands is that you can tell one of your twins, “Hey, you went with me yesterday. So today, it is your sister’s turn.” This will help them get into a good habit of taking turns, as you want to run errands with one twin and not both of them together.
Date Nights With Your Kids
My wife and I recently started having date nights with each of our kids. One night each week, one child gets to stay up late and do whatever they want with mom and dad at home. This typically involves making a treat or playing games or watching a show with mom and dad. The kids get to decide what they want to do, as long as it’s something that we can do in the house and that isn’t so crazy that it would wake up their siblings.
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So whether you’re getting out of the house one-on-one with your kids or trying to do activities with just mom and dad and one of your twins, there are plenty of ways for you to help build a relationship and bond with each of your twins individually.
Check out my book, the Dad’s Guide to Raising Twins: How to Thrive as a Father of Twins where I talk more about bonding with your twins.
This topic was originally addressed on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Episode 86: Portable Sleeping, Public Restrooms, Time with Twins. Original photo by Isaac and Aaron Goldberg