One of the joys of twins is that they learn to share early in life.
Faced with a constant companion that often wants whatever limited resource is at hand, your twins will share or fight.
The sharing moments make you smile. You should verbally praise your kids when they share. That will encourage this good behavior.
Seeing your twins share helps you feel satisfied that they will turn out OK in the end.
However, these blissful moments often end abruptly with fighting over the same toy.
You’ll probably prefer the sharing to the fighting.
Turn Timer to the Rescue
One trick we’ve found very helpful with our girls (and our other kids) is the turn timer.
The turn timer is simply a kitchen timer like any of these.
When the kids argue over a toy, game, movie, time with mommy, the swing, etc., we pull out the turn timer and set expectations. “It is so-and-so’s turn now. When the turn timer dings, it is so-and-so-else’s turn.”
We’ve set the timer for a minute or two based on how long we think our child’s attention span is.
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We’ll follow up after starting the timer by asking the kid with the coveted item: “What happens when the timer dings?” and make sure they understand the turn-taking process.
Yes, your twins get plenty of opportunities to share between themselves and other siblings. However, they still need some help and structure to get them in the good habits you are hoping to help them develop.
It does baffle me that the kids will often listen to a small kitchen timer instead of just being obedient when Mommy or I ask them to do something. Oh, well. There is nothing wrong with some extra tools in the parenting toolbox.
Try the turn timer the next time your kids need a little help sharing.
Do you already use the turn timer method? How has it worked for you? Have you had success with something else?
Picture by Ross
Perhaps it appeals to their innate sense of “fairness”? Pretty sweet idea – will have to try it!
@George – it is fascinating to watch the interactions of my twins and try to figure out why they do what they do.