Twins Are the Same, and Yet so Different

Joe Rawlinson by Joe Rawlinson - January 14, 2019

Here is a question from Eric, talking about his twins. He says, “I’m very surprised how different they are, given our boys are fraternal, but it amazes me every day to consider they started their lives at the same instant and they have been exposed to identical stimuli every moment since, and yet they hit milestones at very different times and have very different personalities.”

Toddler Boy Twins

I’m amazed by this, too, Eric, and observed the same behavior in our twins. We have identical twin girls. Whether your twins are identical or fraternal, you’re going to observe these amazing differences, how they can be so different and yet so similar at the same time.

Twins Are Still Individuals

Just because twins are born at the same time doesn’t make them the same person. As Eric’s observing them and as you as parents of twins will observe, your twins are very different and distinct and unique individuals. As such, you’re going to observe different behaviors, different personalities in each of them.

There are many advantages to these differences. For example, it makes it easier for you to tell them apart because they’ll have different mannerisms and behaviors. It’ll give you unique experiences and interactions with each of them so you have certain memories of one twin and other memories with another twin.

Different Twins Means Different Experiences

It’ll also give you distinct parenting challenges for each twin. You’ll be able to master your parenting skills on each of your twins because odds are, they’ll have different challenges and behaviors that you’ll need to discipline or correct. Having twins that are very different also gives you a lot of variety in the house, which makes for interesting experiences and happy moments in your home as well.

I invite all you parents of twins to take notice of the things that are different and unique about your twins and enjoy those differences and celebrate them.

(RELATED: Your twins will need a lot of gear. Here's the complete twins baby registry checklist to get ready for your twins' arrival.

This question was originally addressed on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast episode 26: Transition from Work to Home, Twin Differences, Nighttime Feedings.

Picture by Donaleen

Further Reading

Dad's Guide to Raising Twins book
Don't forget to pick up a copy of the definitive guide to raising twins. "Dad's Guide to Raising Twins" was written for fathers of twins to help guide you through the first several years with twins. Click here to learn more about the book and get your copy.

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