What I Wish I Knew About the First Three Months with Twins

Even with twins, the maxim that hindsight is 20/20 still holds. What did I wish I knew about the first 3 months with twins?

Here are some things that come to mind.

Twins Are Hard

I wish I fully understood just how hard (emotionally, physically, and mentally) caring for newborn twins would be. Sleep deprivation from waking up all night to feed babies distorts the rest of your life.

Always being on duty to care for, feed, hold, and nurture two little babies is exhausting.

Don’t Take It Personally

Remember that anything your wife says or does during the first year with twins isn’t intended to offend you. It is just the sleep deprivation talking. Hang in there and things will be better in a few months.

Likewise, your twins are not scheming to make you mad or play tricks on you. They are just newborns with basic survival needs and you are the one in the middle.

You’ll Need Reinforcements

I wish I knew just how hands-on I would need to be. Newborn twins require all hands on deck. Either you need to help your wife all the time or you need someone else to help.

Helpers are essential for keeping up with your other kids, the house, and getting some sleep at night. We got a friend or family member to stay with us for the first few months and this was the best decision we made.

Be Flexible

I helped with feeding our newborn twins shortly after their delivery in the hospital. My wife tried breastfeeding and it just didn’t work out. So I helped bottle feed our babies.

Plans change with twins, and you’ll need to roll with the punches. Don’t hang on stubbornly to what might have been or what should have been. Adapt to the situation and move on.

You’ll have your own list of “I wish I knew” items as you learn on the job about caring for your twins. As long as you have an open mind and a willingness to focus on the needs of your twins and your wife, you’ll be able to adapt just fine.

Just remember that helping with twins will be the hardest work you have ever done.

Picture by Eric Skiff